Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Potential Break Up Song - Aly & AJ
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Since I am still trying to find my brain, my poor brain, it got abused by the tequila, and then it received no caffeine yesterday, was sedated last night because I needed it to stop working for a while, and now, now it's given up, it's vacated and I'm struggling to get my head into my office Internet usage policy... irony I know. But anywho - enjoy the song and I'm going to return to my brain hunt, maybe it's hiding from my doubts and insecurity...
The Show - Lenka
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
So whether you were there along the journey, have had your own similar journey or you just love a good martini - raise your glass. Here's to wants, loves, losses and the knowledge that nothing is to big, bad or ugly - you can get through it all.
Why 15 years? Well I had my Mr. Big a number of years ago at which time I was 23 and he was 38. It was a weird match-up for so many reasons and it was never going to work, he was not looking for kids or marriage. In the process though I realized the appeal in being with someone older. That being said, there were times I felt like I wasn't able to keep up, all the degrees in the world, won't fill the void when your significant other says something time-stamped, or you have that first encounter where you're more or less called an immature ___ by his much older sister who believes that hiking boots are suitable city footwear and hasn't been introduced to Botox, anti-aging creams or even makeup...
So fast forward to this moment in time, OM is older, the kind of older that made me wince, like I was at the oldest 10 when he graduated from university... Sure he's got everything on paper that works, and as I cracked to N, hey at least I'm fertile... is that what it comes down to? He can't date his peers if he wants children, and I can't date my peers if I want a man who is socially trained and educated. What have we done? Are we at the point where we (women) can only set our sights on, perpetual daters (commitment issue types) or divorced men, those who had married their high school sweetheart, and now somehow have decided in their later years they want a newer model, who with fresh womb and education, are a more Darwinian appropriate match. And our male peers have found themselves in the clutches of "Cougars," women who seem to encourage everything we find repulsive about our male peers. What, why, and what am I to do?
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Love Sex Magic - Ciara featuring Justin Timberlake
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Friday, April 10, 2009
Thursday, April 09, 2009
It is so wrong that I want to play Celine right now and sing along? Right? I'm wrong? It's all wrong! This is all kinds of wrong too...
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
You seem like a nice guy, but the more I think about it, as over analyzing is what I do best, actually second best to my procrastination skillz (I feel like saying it C - grammar check me later). Well you know what? I would like to go on a date date with you like a REAL date not a breakfast waffle date, the kind where I panic for a week and I can't find something to wear and buy something only to not wear it, where I can't seem to put my eye liner on straight, I have to have J talk me off the ceiling and nothing stays in my GI tract for more than a nano-second. I want to see you just as nervous as me as we stumble over our conversation for the first 30 minutes until my martini kicks in and you crack some kind of lame ass but endearing joke. We have a good meal and then do something fun like go for a walk and talk - I know I'm a cheap date - or see a movie (non rom-com)- you might be interested in finding something that causes me to panic and grab your arm/game where I am more concerned about Louie/go do something lame and messy - like paint pottery. We end the night with anything but a lame handshake or one of those teenage boy kind of hugs, you know the kind where they are going for the most amount of space in between. I'm not asking you to pucker up or anything like that - to be honest, it's too much stress and hype. Your only three goals should be these: be yourself (honest), engage in conversation and make sure I don't utter these words or think them - I can't believe I shaved my legs for this/bought something for you or even cared what you thought... if you enter this territory you've blown it, shot it all to hell and that's it - unless I really LOVE the shoes I'm wearing and you notice them, then maybe... anyways let me know what you think? You up for it?
Insensitive - Jann Arden
Well lo and behold, OM emailed me back and a snarky one at that - honestly I think this was destined, when you get a pacifist trying to act out an guerrilla type seduction on a man who is more complex than the UN you get more than problems. In the end is it worth it? Sure OM's great on paper, but maybe in the end J is right, it looks like he's got the emotional depth of that piece of paper...
At this point, I either switch allegiances or scrap both of them - I guess in the end it comes down to what I'm going to be picky about, emotionally/mentally all there or the one that has their job/life and future on track. Shouldn't I get both? It's like a martini without the vodka, what's the point.
Shouldn't I REALLY feel like this?
Fantasy - Mariah Carey
Monday, April 06, 2009
Barista boy may or may not be interested and I upped the ante maybe prematurely and now I'm wondering if I got the smoke signals crossed or whathaveyou. I handed over a plate of leftovers, since he wasn't able to come to the cooking group, but I handed them over to a coworker, since he was on his break... so I fully aware that my cooking, and any woman's good home cooking is enough to get you deep into enemy territory. But what do you do when you realize either directly or indirectly you're there and you may or may not want to be there. Did you just get yourself trapped? Barista boy (A) is nice, likely a good friend, and hey we all need a good guy friend now and then but is he the kind who's going to do more for me... not likely if we're being honest.
Now OM, well OM is cold right now. And so now I'm wondering if I need to smoke him out from wherever he's hiding, do I torture him once I get him out or do I pretend that I just don't care one iota. But well I don't have patience, that we know and to be honest in talking with J I wouldn't mind seeing if I could call him on his pseudo bravado and come on stronger than I have been...
In the end I don't think I've got anything to lose... famous last words.
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Okay so I know this song doesn't relate, but it does relate to the last time I felt like this, way back when this song was on the radio, it brings me back and the cover version, sometimes we change, but the song at the core remains the same.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Ack! A real date, apparently someone just threw me onto that elusive horse I was happy just flirting with. If this is where flirting gets you, I'm not so sure... right? Who really wants a date? Me? Even if it's just so I can justify purchasing this t-shirt