Time to Party

I will say that this is likely tacky, irreverent and even cold for some of you to read. I am raising a martini or two this weekend in the celebration of me not getting married. As of 1pm April 18, 2009 I would have been hitched, hitched on a wagon to a life of well we aren't going to think about that. That person who said yes last year does not reside in this body. I am aware that sounds like I was possessed, and some days it sure as heck feels like it looking back, but it wasn't that dramatic. I instead did what many other before and after me did/will do, marry because you need to be married, not because you want to spend your life with that person. No rather you NEED to be married and well this person seems good enough to shove into that void. You never make that conscious decision, but somehow they hit your radar hard enough to stick and then before you know it that list of things you really want, desire, and in some other respect need gets thrown out the window, you bend your life, alter friendships and you even ditch in some way or another all those life lines you have known as friends. Somewhere in August my want got a hold of my need and cold cocked it. It was out just long enough for me to make some no turning back decisions. Thank goodness for that and the support of amazing women like J, or maybe mostly J who made sure that my want was strong. My want for freedom, my want for love, passion and all that, my want for peace with myself and myself only. The kind of freedom that makes you fall in like with yourself rather than in loathe and fear.

So whether you were there along the journey, have had your own similar journey or you just love a good martini - raise your glass. Here's to wants, loves, losses and the knowledge that nothing is to big, bad or ugly - you can get through it all.