Help, I'm losing my kutzpah by the moment

While the last blog demonstrated my attempt at cool calm and collected, I feel like the patience I know that is within me is dissipating at an alarming rate. There has been the set up of a formal, informal platonic meeting, and I refuse to complain about that situation. Every time I hear a naysayer - a well really? You think that's what he really feels? I have to remind myself that no one other than the said individual knows and beyond how I feel, which is excited and slightly obsessive in that I have a crush kind, we leave it at that. It is hard, though as in the back of my brain I'm battling my own insecurities about myself, about this last year - full of separation, breakup, engagement endings and all sorts of other issues, that despite my belief and knowledge that I'm on the road to emotional and mental wholeness, that slipping back could happen and that I have, really have to trust myself. In two or however many weeks I need walk into a situation and trust my intuition entirely, trust my emotions entirely and act with a self assured belief that I do only what I believe, what I feel and what I feel comfortable with, and that is all that matters. Easier said than done.