I was quickly placated by a nice email about the tickets, goodness, I think I'm too far in, I am forgiving this infraction. Anyways that being said I had a serious moment of doubt, so much so I was thinking about calling everything off. Why, well age is an issue for me, and N encouraged me to figure out what this mystery separation was, and if it happened to be under my 15 year cut off.
Why 15 years? Well I had my Mr. Big a number of years ago at which time I was 23 and he was 38. It was a weird match-up for so many reasons and it was never going to work, he was not looking for kids or marriage. In the process though I realized the appeal in being with someone older. That being said, there were times I felt like I wasn't able to keep up, all the degrees in the world, won't fill the void when your significant other says something time-stamped, or you have that first encounter where you're more or less called an immature ___ by his much older sister who believes that hiking boots are suitable city footwear and hasn't been introduced to Botox, anti-aging creams or even makeup...
So fast forward to this moment in time, OM is older, the kind of older that made me wince, like I was at the oldest 10 when he graduated from university... Sure he's got everything on paper that works, and as I cracked to N, hey at least I'm fertile... is that what it comes down to? He can't date his peers if he wants children, and I can't date my peers if I want a man who is socially trained and educated. What have we done? Are we at the point where we (women) can only set our sights on, perpetual daters (commitment issue types) or divorced men, those who had married their high school sweetheart, and now somehow have decided in their later years they want a newer model, who with fresh womb and education, are a more Darwinian appropriate match. And our male peers have found themselves in the clutches of "Cougars," women who seem to encourage everything we find repulsive about our male peers. What, why, and what am I to do?
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