Re-Start

I find it hard these days to stay motivated.  It isn't that my brain isn't motivated, let's be clear, this isn't a mental health issue, per say, that is to say I know what depression looks like for me, been there been medicated for that... I get exhausted. Plain exhausted.  The kind that shuts down your ability to cope, function or rationalize.  I call it being stupid-tired, the MCAT did it to me and now work/school post the last two years worth of stress on my body does it to me and I melt.  I have meltdowns.  Last night was a meltdown until I had the loving of a spastic-ally joy filled little girl named Miss Gertie (Ms. J is her human-momma), you can't have a meltdown when trying to fend of a Miss Gertie hug and tongue kiss (thanks G one more reason no boys are going to want to kiss me now, though on that note good Lord I don't know if many boys have clean mouths these days anyways...).  Ms. J fixed me up as best she could, but in the end I still have to come home and shut off the brain that is trying to work in a body that doesn't.

Today was suppose to start my holidays but rather I was up at 6am to call another time zone to get logged into our payroll software so that I wouldn't have to go to work (an hour away) to do the same thing - got that sorted out, went back to bed, only to have at call at 8:30am informing me of another hospital f*ck up and BLERG!! as Ms. J would say.  So anyways, I'm playing relay the b*tch-ness with my staff who know that this is all BLERG-ness.  So there went my sleep in/attempt to recharge... so anyways that is not the point, holiday starts now... recuperation starts now... sort of, actually I need to make a giant quote map on my floor (don't worry pictures will appear of the beauty).

A question at the moment... a big freaking question, one that will test my ability to figure life out... Ms. J and I were talking about my revelation on Sunday.  See here is the deal - a revelation about me for y'all (I can trust you).

There is a seminary school located in the city I live/work in - they offer an Interdisciplinary program which is amazing and I will end up with an Masters degree in the end - it's small classes and it's not a semester (plus) of literally paying to get another Bachelor's degree - which in theory I might be able to transfer credits back to my Bachelor's degree for...  From there I can apply in December for graduate school in the US, or just keep going for another year and graduate.  Um can y'all see I'm already ready to jump ship?  So debt is a huge deal, this school is much more expensive (of course)... anyways. Pray if you pray and I'm going to apparently have to do some typing today and tomorrow and hope I get some answers... Wow the world is changing.