Saturday, June 05, 2010

More Writer's Block


I am not blocked per say I'm actually water logged and sleepy from a very late nap, the kind that make you feel sleepier and icky.  Anyways I've been mulling over this article I stumbled over this morning via The Feminista Files - don't ask me how I actually found it from there... The point is it was a man's response to a newish book on the market that is trying to convince women of settling for Mr. I Can Live with You.

I will say that I don't believe that any of us is perfect, despite what EHarmony keeps trying to sell me, relationships take work and they take compromise.

Now, then I think despite the comments that called him a misogynist etc, I think the man is right.  See here's the deal, as a woman who also is a Type A, clean/organization obsessed and Gemini, I know that if I settled (which I would have with CEF) I will not put up with that shit for long.  Nor should I or my partner - that's the point, it isn't meant to work like that.  I know I will either curl up into a ball and more or less attempt to die in one way or another (CEF) or I'll be a ragging bitch complaining about whatever, and in the end even if those things don't happen, I know that like anyone in a loving relationship you learn to fight dirty and the words "I shouldn't have settled for you" "I could get better" etc would for sure come out.

But this isn't about the men - it's about the women.  Here is the tough point - there is a difference between unrealistic expectations and settling.  It is knowing what you need to be happy and whether that is plain stupid or not. If you need money, abs and all that maybe you need to consider if that it really what you want...

Anyways I have learned that while I have a list, in the end I will know who the person is and meanwhile I am making peace with the occasional night of being acutely aware of the space on the other side of the bed, because that's a hell of a lot better than trying to ignore someone who's always there that you don't want to be there.

Photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/diasunday/3169642840/

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