I held a 2 month old little boy today - who snuggled sleepily into my neck as I carried him down two flights of stairs. Our lift is not in service so his mom was helped down with the stroller and one of my staff carried his sister... Holding that little precious life was a very very unfair biological teaser. I joked I would have happily taken him home. I know that day will come in some form, but it's hard. I know N is struggling with her birthday this year. The feeling that even as HSBFF says, none of us feels really grown up yet. So as I realize I will have to throw myself with wild unhindered almost bizarrely narrow minded abandon at my application for a PhD program, I wonder when I'll feel like I've made it into the world of adulthood, when those milestones come will they feel like it?Photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/seandreilinger/289152748/
PS I was going through my other life blog archives and was reminded of this beautiful singer - and her song which I dearly love for two different reasons 1 and 2 though of course she has other lovely music
I hope I never 'feel' grown-up...I can take on the responsibility if I have too, and I can act like one, but I never really want to consider myself an Adult if I can avoid it.
ReplyDeleteInteresting, maybe that's how I should be instead of feeling never like an adult and always disappointed when I cross milestones and feel no different...
ReplyDeletePerhaps. I think it is easy to get caught up in the steps along life that are supposed to be 'life changing'. Graduating, going to University, having kids, getting married, sex, whatever...while I haven't done all of them...I didn't feel like a different person after any of them really. Having Jacob was probably the most impactful thing of all and I still don't feel like a different person really.
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