I don't like aging. I mean I like it - it comes with benefits, be them small - like drinking legally, renting, flying independently without supervision - though I wonder if I should get an escort some days.
Anyways as a woman aging is a sticky thing, especially when you're single. I'm not saying you can't be an amazing single woman at any age. You can and you likely are. The issue? Well. As I was trying to tame my tresses this morning I realized at best I will be 35 when I finish with school. Not really tragic, but the issue is this: my area of study is almost entirely women and gay men. I'm going to likely be hooped for finding a partner and having kids - and while I've already said I would adopt - I don't think I'm going to run into the cash necessary for adopting in the middle of school.... I digress, sorry long sentence. So? Well I feel like having a momentary pity party. It's not fair. My uterus is aging despite what I do to its encasing vessel - no amount of Botox, anti-aging cream/soap, running, SPF Vampire, vitamins, yoga, and hair colour will prevent it. However, men at any age past puberty can look good (not that they always do) - shaved head for those balding, color or natural for the grays - like Mr. A Cooper though he be on the other team is hot... they can have children at any age and more often than not they choose to date down in age. OM is a prime example. So while at this stage in my life I hate being considered a walking uterus for the 40 something male category, I know that when I'm nearing 40 not a single one of those men who is family minded is going to look my way... oh the inhumanity.
I vote for a arranged marriage. Who's with me?
I know it's a random music choice - but he was on American Idol(not that I watch it - it was mentioned on the radio this morning) and it was amazing, and I love this song... so here it is.
I hear ya. Pressure's on.
ReplyDeleteDating young or above your age is also a touchy business. And money usually is a big factor, unfortunately.
Some girls who date above their age date for the money. Young guys do the same thing too...looking for their sugar mommas and what have you.
Look, time be damned. You may think it's easy for me to say, but it ain't. I don't want to be governed by my body's inherent expiration date. I'll just do what I can with what I have and leave the rest to patience. And if that means that I stay single, so be it. The sooner I stop worrying, the sooner I get on with my life, you know? In the end, I hope we're all happy and satisfied. Not much of a pep talk, but that's all I got.
Oddly enough I have almost either dated close to my age or vastly above it, in those cases money was not the factor. OM is deep in MBA debt and wants BABIES but is well as gay as they come despite what he will acknowledge - anyways I am not in the outing business. My Mr Big didn't want kids or marriage but wanted arm candy - I was the flavor of the few months, in the end he wised up and got someone his own age who couldn't have kids and had been there done that with marriage.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the pep talk in the end I know it is what it is, I'm not going to be going to AB any time in the next 5 years and asking him to knock me up or anything crazy like that. I am totally fine with adopting if the biological option doesn't happen. It's more just the frustration of dating in a subculture that in many ways glorifies early marriage.
PS You being an MD put you on a whole other playing field - you'll never have any problems with the ones looking for your money - you just have to keep the student debt and the Shakespeare references to yourself.
In the end arranged marriage is looking like more and more an option - I wonder if there are mail order doctor husband catalogues out there.
Yea, becoming a doctor would shift the playing field for me...possible gold-diggers abound. I need a work disguise...any suggestions?
ReplyDeleteAs for the catalogues, you never know with the internet. Check out Craigslist for possible Dr.-husband potentials =).
Craigslist is full of sketchy options, not that I speak from experience or anything like that. And as you a disguise - well avoid the white coat, the exhausted look and don't be a prick - everyone will just think you're an accountant. At least you'll look like ours - he's so freaking chipper/awake all the time
ReplyDeleteNo white coat - check. Shouldn't be hard when I'm out of the hospital.
ReplyDeleteDon't look exhausted - I'll do my best, although I can't promise. Working in the hospital will always drain you. Coffee always helps tho.
Don't be a prick - I hope I'm not. I try not to be. I certainly don't want to be like the miserable wretches in the hospital who take it out on med students or worse, patients.
I can't do accountant...then they'll ask me to do their taxes. I can do teacher.
Teacher works - that's safe. Do you do taxes? Because that I can't do - my dad does mine.
ReplyDeleteNo taxes - it's something I never figured out on my own. Although with turbotax, the problem should be in the past.
ReplyDeleteComing from a different perspective, a twenty something who usually gets the attention of the 40 somethings my mind set is everything BUT babies. And unfortunately I realize the same thing...I don't want babies now. It's not practical. But because I am a logical young female who escaped the small town syndrome of being pregnant at 19 and I want something more for myself I will be in the same boat as you are in. When babies ARE my mind set it will be much more difficult.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny the babies thing - I went through most of my teens and twenties opposed to giving birth but not opposed to adopting, but the whole thing was more apathy - I mean I wasn't going to have them that's for sure but I wasn't sold on the I want to have them. Then like a bolt of lightening or less dramtic I've found myself softening towards the idea and realizing life long companionship isn't a tragic idea and children aren't little demons etc.
ReplyDeleteIn general I've come to believe as my mother said in one of her less than lucid moments, there is a reason they are still single at 40...
Maybe that lightening bolt will find me but I get the strangest looks at work (we always have at LEAST 2 girls pregnant) when I explain my absolute fear of having something move inside me. For X amount of years I have been told IF I feel something move inside me go to the emergency room and NOW. It honestly is a weird phobia, I know.
ReplyDeleteAlso...I really like the quiet haha.