I have to say I don't mind being single this time of year... but I do mind this song. For two reasons for one if Santa existed the last thing I would want is him to gift wrap in some fashion a man for me and shove it under my Christmas tree. For one I would doubt that I would know him, two he'd be kidnapped and how would I explain that - I kidnapped a stranger who is somehow destined to be "my baby" and all that...Joking about the specific song aside, it seems to be the main theme in the non-traditional secular/commercially acceptable songs - love. Yes love can be gift wrapped and given... well that's the theme of the season isn't it - I give you something and you believe I love you based on the gift size, thought or something similar... But beyond that, why is it that we want love in this way? Or at all... that sounds pessimistic, but let me explain. I like having someone, sure it's great, it has tonnes of wonderful benefits, but as of late it has come with more hassle and so I know that it's a process, it's not a check off the list kind of situation. Though yes we all have lists of some sort - they change over the years - the negotiables and non-negotiables change to some degree. I know what I avoid - I avoid athletes, hockey players to be specific... they smell like equipment (aka ripe death) and puck bunnies, the triathletes and runners are fine - the swimmers kind of scare me as I'm not so sure I want a man more invested in his hair removal than I am...
I am digressing - the point to all this is AR has started with EHarmony and so has everyone else I know who is single - and while I would in some way like to consider it as a way of maybe just finding a running partner to join the group, get to know etc - I think the whole process becomes like that Brittney Spears song - we place all our hopes that it's going to all come neatly gift wrapped and we don't see the oddity of all of it... guess this all means I will be embracing singleness instead of AB this upcoming season and that's good, non?
I refuse to do Match, E-Harmony, etc...as it just isn't how I feel comfortable meeting people, though I guess I am in the minority now. A number of my friends have found sig. others this way, and they swore by it.
ReplyDeleteI did the online thing briefly at the same time L did, she found her husband and I found three really wierd guys - gave up after that, realizing that unfortunately the late 20's-late 30's guys seemed to all have the same things they wanted - marriage, wife and babies. While that's great - it's not when it means that I (the woman) sacrifices identity, job, freedom of self to fill a 50's suburban ideal). I had earlier tried a ethnic/religion specific one - I know it's sounds doggy but well long story I got two great friends out of the process but no matches. The three of us, the odd balls on the site seems to band together and all ended up leaving unsuccessful.
ReplyDeleteI have male friends who have used as a way to mass date to find the "one," in that you opt for a cheaper more open site and date 2-3 women a week in an interview like process, if you find someone that works, you pursue it - almost all of the conversation is done face to face. I think that is really the only way to make it work.
CEF and I met in a really round about way online and there was a large distance between us so while I know he would have followed likely the same behaviour pattern of control and abuse I witnessed post engagement I would like to hope that I would have seen it coming if I had spent more time with him before hand.
So in conclusion - no I doubt I am going to opt for one of those sites. I don't really have the time to devote to it and I do believe that while EHarmony indicates we are multi dimensional people, there is a dynamic of face to face interaction - chemistry/sparks/whatever you want to call it, that I still believe we need...