So I stumbled out of the library, away from my marking that is taking so much longer than it should, to have some lunch and who do I run into in the main office?
AL*
WTF is all my brain could muster and I think AE could see the blindsided look. He was there on business. So after the awkwardness, he offered to take me for lunch and hell, I being poor, why not take a guy up on free meal. While he was going to plug his meter I turn to AE and say, "He's on the blog." I believe here response involved a laugh and a oh.
It's complicated.
Why is it always complicated.
AL came on to the scene when AB and I were a mess and it was an awkward date. It was a good date but it was an awkward heart moment. I wanted to not like AB but there was no way of denying it all and another boy trying to wiggle into it all was just not my idea of awesomeness. Maybe there are women out there who like the idea of being fought over or complicated over but it was just too much. And the date was too much. He was too honest. He confessed all his short comings and his new found faith was just, enough to make me panic.
So when he announced that he was single at lunch today. A part of me wanted to back away from the table. Not because of the short comings or his faith, which has sounded like it's growing, or anything because we actually have a lot in common and he's my usual type, he's very similar to X. Chivalrous without being oppressive, caring, thoughtful, open minded...
Actually it wasn't about him.
My heart just kind of curled in on itself when he mentioned he was single. I know lunch wasn't a date and so on and so forth. I realized I've been coping in my post Lawyer Guy world under the impression that I just won't date until I have a job and I'm ready to leave and go wherever to get said job.
And yet...
I don't want to let my hurt do that but I don't know how to not let to creep in on the edges.
Not yet at least.
*To add to the weird I should note that AL and I rarely talk but he messaged me on FB about my lack of job situation and has been totally eager to help and actually been really helpful. So that just added to the weird factor.
Showing posts with label al. Show all posts
Showing posts with label al. Show all posts
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Blog Men Update
Just because I am not single doesn't mean that I don't still have man issues. Not X issues and even if I did we have agreed not to blog our relationship problems... whatever, not the point.
BB is the point. He posted on FB this week, that he up and moving. I knew this day would come, boy has roots as deep as a azalea in this city. I know he wants to be any where but here. That being said while he loves another major city in this part of the world I doubt that it's going to fill the void. So I sent him off with my best wishes that he finds what he's searching for - maybe he'll find a shrink along the way too. I mean that with with care - I know it sounds bitchy, but I've been there - you can run all you want, if the shit is in your head, it's not going to help you one bit. I really do wish I could have helped the guy out but there was just no way to do that and not end up with a bloody mess on my hands. As for the whole no more free coffee, it's probably a good thing for me, my waistline and well me - I was tired of feeling like I was cheating on BB with X. Yes you read that right - I had a relationship with my barista while I am in a relationship with X. I felt like BB was hoping the next free latte would be the one to send me over the counter and into his arms... oh honey, if it was a JJ Bean latte maybe.
AL: Well he pops in and out of my life. Look maybe I'm just too damn civil, or maybe FB allows men I'm vaguely friends with to comment and reappear in my life I don't know. I find it unnerving. It's like AB knows not to comment, not to talk to me. I might BBM AB once every 6 months to make sure he's alive but I normally comes down to a few terse answers back and forth and fizzles out. Well AL I think just bugs the bajeebers out of me due to our history - the more I look at the more I feel like I was being seduced for a pity something. To ask me on a date on the heels of knowing your friend and I got very whatever and he's intent on breaking my heart because he's a man child seems cold, calculated and oh ya who you are - Mr. Serial Cheater.
Aside: So reading through my old blogs I realize I have lost my writers mojo - happiness and writing do not mix - and now Virginia Woolf makes even more sense to me - you've got to be repressed, bitchy and drinking far more then you should and off the hormone pills to for that matter to get the kind of kicky, snarky and aptly observed stuff out there. So now the time has come for me to find another source, or just to switch to drinking and blogging.
For you X:
BB is the point. He posted on FB this week, that he up and moving. I knew this day would come, boy has roots as deep as a azalea in this city. I know he wants to be any where but here. That being said while he loves another major city in this part of the world I doubt that it's going to fill the void. So I sent him off with my best wishes that he finds what he's searching for - maybe he'll find a shrink along the way too. I mean that with with care - I know it sounds bitchy, but I've been there - you can run all you want, if the shit is in your head, it's not going to help you one bit. I really do wish I could have helped the guy out but there was just no way to do that and not end up with a bloody mess on my hands. As for the whole no more free coffee, it's probably a good thing for me, my waistline and well me - I was tired of feeling like I was cheating on BB with X. Yes you read that right - I had a relationship with my barista while I am in a relationship with X. I felt like BB was hoping the next free latte would be the one to send me over the counter and into his arms... oh honey, if it was a JJ Bean latte maybe.
AL: Well he pops in and out of my life. Look maybe I'm just too damn civil, or maybe FB allows men I'm vaguely friends with to comment and reappear in my life I don't know. I find it unnerving. It's like AB knows not to comment, not to talk to me. I might BBM AB once every 6 months to make sure he's alive but I normally comes down to a few terse answers back and forth and fizzles out. Well AL I think just bugs the bajeebers out of me due to our history - the more I look at the more I feel like I was being seduced for a pity something. To ask me on a date on the heels of knowing your friend and I got very whatever and he's intent on breaking my heart because he's a man child seems cold, calculated and oh ya who you are - Mr. Serial Cheater.
Aside: So reading through my old blogs I realize I have lost my writers mojo - happiness and writing do not mix - and now Virginia Woolf makes even more sense to me - you've got to be repressed, bitchy and drinking far more then you should and off the hormone pills to for that matter to get the kind of kicky, snarky and aptly observed stuff out there. So now the time has come for me to find another source, or just to switch to drinking and blogging.
For you X:
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Awesome doesn't describe it...
Watched semi's in the front row
Waved a flag hollered until horse
Cheered with MsJ, PU and AL
AB became a new person today
I know it's just a phase
Introduced MsJ to V for Vendetta
Tonight partied to the end with MsJ
Sang swayed snapped clapped and cheered
I believe Serena is plain awesome
With those 6 words I say
Check out this lovely talented lady
Waved a flag hollered until horse
Cheered with MsJ, PU and AL
AB became a new person today
I know it's just a phase
Introduced MsJ to V for Vendetta
Tonight partied to the end with MsJ
Sang swayed snapped clapped and cheered
I believe Serena is plain awesome
With those 6 words I say
Check out this lovely talented lady
Thursday, January 28, 2010
More Updates
Sheesh you get the smell of a man off you finally somehow and then they all come out of the wood work or something like that. AL is back. Now if you remember AL was intricately weaved into the infamous night of gin and tequila and goodness knows whatever else I drank that went something like this if you need a recap.
1. AB and I had the talk - the I really like you but I'm happy single talk (First weekend of September folks)
2. Next week was the annual booze fest at AB and roommates place - I attended being the "adult," showed up 4 hours earlier on a sweltering Saturday - homemade mango black bean salsa in hand. We watched Lost and started drinking - gin and tonic, safe... all platonic at this point.
3. Two gin and tonics later AL shows up with Patron in hand and the X's and O's shot glasses come out - two down the hatch followed by another gin and tonic which I nurse (two more shots later on). At this point platonic goes out the window and the odd body part stops respecting personal space, a finger along a wrist, and foot up the back of a leg etc. This continues on for the next 4 hours. AB kept drinking - AL seeing I wasn't up for another gin and tonic so he gets me juice and keeps it coming all while staying by my side - blocking AB and being handsy all the while. I don't like handsy - especially not touching my hair... anyways AL offers to drive me home. I'm thinking well it's a ride home and not a cab on a hot evening...
4. At the door as I hug AB night night, he oh so smoothly says have you seen the terrace (look you know I haven't why ask?) - AL interjects I have and works to hustle me out. I being blonde in another life say No, and get whisked minus AL to the terrace. Talking leads to me crying then laughing then um ya, let's just say things might have gone from zero to wherever if AL wasn't texting AB and I had another location option other than the gym room lockers to be propped against - just saying. So we collected ourselves and so on and so forth - fast forward to me going on a date with AL three weeks later as BR was moving in. Date was interesting
5. Interesting = Habitual Cheater confession. REALLY, oh they sure know how to pick me.
So there we have it AL is back, offering to take care of my sick ass - because he knows AB is out of the picture. And you know what? It ain't happening - I know I'm his perfect fetish and it ain't freaking happening. Why?
Honestly aside from the cheating thing and why the hell is there even an aside to that, I don't know, it's the two year dating minimum prior to engagement he has. Um I'm getting old - so if I date you for two years, engaged for a year at best, that's three freaking years of my life. Bless you but I want kids IN wedlock and NOT out of it, so no. I am not giving you three years of my eggs lives if I have a say in it. At this point in the game a back up reason as solid as that is really good reason to keep the handsy hands off of me. Though he can cook...
1. AB and I had the talk - the I really like you but I'm happy single talk (First weekend of September folks)
2. Next week was the annual booze fest at AB and roommates place - I attended being the "adult," showed up 4 hours earlier on a sweltering Saturday - homemade mango black bean salsa in hand. We watched Lost and started drinking - gin and tonic, safe... all platonic at this point.
3. Two gin and tonics later AL shows up with Patron in hand and the X's and O's shot glasses come out - two down the hatch followed by another gin and tonic which I nurse (two more shots later on). At this point platonic goes out the window and the odd body part stops respecting personal space, a finger along a wrist, and foot up the back of a leg etc. This continues on for the next 4 hours. AB kept drinking - AL seeing I wasn't up for another gin and tonic so he gets me juice and keeps it coming all while staying by my side - blocking AB and being handsy all the while. I don't like handsy - especially not touching my hair... anyways AL offers to drive me home. I'm thinking well it's a ride home and not a cab on a hot evening...
4. At the door as I hug AB night night, he oh so smoothly says have you seen the terrace (look you know I haven't why ask?) - AL interjects I have and works to hustle me out. I being blonde in another life say No, and get whisked minus AL to the terrace. Talking leads to me crying then laughing then um ya, let's just say things might have gone from zero to wherever if AL wasn't texting AB and I had another location option other than the gym room lockers to be propped against - just saying. So we collected ourselves and so on and so forth - fast forward to me going on a date with AL three weeks later as BR was moving in. Date was interesting
5. Interesting = Habitual Cheater confession. REALLY, oh they sure know how to pick me.
So there we have it AL is back, offering to take care of my sick ass - because he knows AB is out of the picture. And you know what? It ain't happening - I know I'm his perfect fetish and it ain't freaking happening. Why?
Honestly aside from the cheating thing and why the hell is there even an aside to that, I don't know, it's the two year dating minimum prior to engagement he has. Um I'm getting old - so if I date you for two years, engaged for a year at best, that's three freaking years of my life. Bless you but I want kids IN wedlock and NOT out of it, so no. I am not giving you three years of my eggs lives if I have a say in it. At this point in the game a back up reason as solid as that is really good reason to keep the handsy hands off of me. Though he can cook...
Monday, September 28, 2009
Thanks for your honesty...
I had an honest and transparent date* with AL on Sunday and I know some of you are looking for the details. Sure it's great when you can share all sorts of things about your life that you may hold off on sharing... like I've said before sometimes we have a tendency to share too much or share information we aren't aware might be held against us...
AL shared with me he has a history of wandering. I don't mean like in the woods, in life, or meandering, I mean like wandering in relationships - chronically, habitually, routinely... yes and while it is lovely you can recognize that, and you're open and honest about that mistake. Can you call it a mistake when you have a propensity towards such decisions?
So long and short, AL's confession/admission will be flagged and that is that. Sorry to all those who have once or multiple times found your relationships unsatisfactory and instead of addressing the issues used someone to fill a void, I understand that these aren't always clear decisions and all that - however. However, I being the victim of such an action with my first lovely boyfriend, the lawyer for whom the impalement on a blunt object would not be prevented by me, it is a sin equal with admitting you're emotionally and physically manipulative/abusive like CEF, because hell been there once, didn't want to be there and I'm not going back.
Oh and the icing on the cake - he's joined the AB club, of the happily single... oy vay.
AL shared with me he has a history of wandering. I don't mean like in the woods, in life, or meandering, I mean like wandering in relationships - chronically, habitually, routinely... yes and while it is lovely you can recognize that, and you're open and honest about that mistake. Can you call it a mistake when you have a propensity towards such decisions?
So long and short, AL's confession/admission will be flagged and that is that. Sorry to all those who have once or multiple times found your relationships unsatisfactory and instead of addressing the issues used someone to fill a void, I understand that these aren't always clear decisions and all that - however. However, I being the victim of such an action with my first lovely boyfriend, the lawyer for whom the impalement on a blunt object would not be prevented by me, it is a sin equal with admitting you're emotionally and physically manipulative/abusive like CEF, because hell been there once, didn't want to be there and I'm not going back.
Oh and the icing on the cake - he's joined the AB club, of the happily single... oy vay.
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Blog Boys
AB aka:ABWLHSTDTAAP (Artistic Boy Who Lost His Shot To Date This Apparently "Amazing" Person...) - LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP
AL aka: BWCTBISOA (Boy who claims to be in search of Ariele) Ariele Lover for short... no? SINGLE
BB: Barista Boy or Slow it on down there, don't chase me I have bad Grade 2 memories I haven't addressed in regards to that.... MARRIED, ALREADY DIVORCED and TRYING THE SAME WAGON AGAIN...OY VAY
Belgian Boy: An accent to make you weak in the knees and a heart as warm.
BIaka: BIWHMBHWTMK (Boy I would have married but he wasn't the marrying kind) ENGAGED/LT
Mr. Brilliant: Awkward non-date and little else to describe our friendship. He's too like me in all the ways I don't like me to be a suitable match. DATING
BV aka: BVHMAOMP (Boy V has met at OM's party)
CEF: Crazy Ex Fiance
CW: Co-Worker since *giggle* is an appropriate description - social justice minded, thesis writing, funny guy
Date* - Includes all the forms of possible dates - friend, pseudo or the real thing
DBaka: DBWCPAMHOR (Drummer Boy Who Can Play A Mean Hand of Rook) - On paper he is all that I should want and ever need. I've known him since I was a child and he has always had this inexplicable pull for me. GIRLFRIEND? Regardless, no longer interested
DirectoryBoy: Fellow student with some weird views on women. Let's just say that's a ship that I torpedoed.
Mr. Not So Grumpy Anymore(Formerly known as the Douche):Moping, always sullen fellow student, questionable possible dating material DATING (thus the non-grumble status)
IT: Intentional Typo
Lawyer Guy: The name says it all - he's a lawyer, he's a guy and he is my EX-boyfriend and is now referred to a NLLL-Ex-Boyfriend or NB
MW aka: MWBTTCGCH (More wilderness boy than this city girl can handle) - Tangoed with that oh so briefly. DATING
NLLL: Non-ladylike language
NNaka: NNBFMCD - New Neighbour Boy From My Chemistry Days MARRIED
OM: short for many options MARRIED
RB:aka Runner Boy - the sort of dater, sort of single one and definitely not sort of an option.- MARRIED
WTD:What the Duck - my Blackberry's overused phrase as of late...
X:Mr. International Man of Mystery and absolutely lovely to boot.
Last Updated: September 20, 2013
AL aka: BWCTBISOA (Boy who claims to be in search of Ariele) Ariele Lover for short... no? SINGLE
BB:
Belgian Boy: An accent to make you weak in the knees and a heart as warm.
BI
Mr. Brilliant
BV aka: BVHMAOMP (Boy V has met at OM's party)
CEF: Crazy Ex Fiance
CW: Co-Worker since *giggle* is an appropriate description - social justice minded, thesis writing, funny guy
Date* - Includes all the forms of possible dates - friend, pseudo or the real thing
DB
DirectoryBoy:
Mr. Not So Grumpy Anymore
IT: Intentional Typo
Lawyer Guy: The name says it all - he's a lawyer, he's a guy and he is my EX-boyfriend and is now referred to a NLLL-Ex-Boyfriend or NB
MW
NLLL: Non-ladylike language
NN
OM
RB:
WTD:What the Duck - my Blackberry's overused phrase as of late...
X:Mr. International Man of Mystery and absolutely lovely to boot.
Last Updated: September 20, 2013
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