In My Very Finite Wisdom

... there was a moment of lapse or collapse or something of that nature, because at this very moment I am sharing a table in the library with the Douche.

*sigh* or *head desk* I'm not sure which one applies at the moment.

He's out of my system, sure I would love to know what is under that crusty and often frustrating personality, but to be honest the desire to know that is rivalled with my desire to smack him upside the head with the text book in front of him at the moment. And while most days I'm not all that ladylike, I would like to believe I am lady enough at this moment that I will not do that.

So there we have it, we know where things are with le douche and now RB is dating someone and according to FB, BI is un-engaged. The world doesn't make sense. Well it sort of does but not really in regards to the last two mentioned.

I am sure that my single-ness is not a horrible thing at this moment. Not that I really considered it a horrible thing ever, but I can say for sure at this moment, while I might have a desire for human contact and all that comes with relationships I am also equally comfortable where I am.

*Postscript* I was hit on by two separate men tonight, one was older and hot but so not appropriate and the second was younger and drunk. The universe apparently has a really warped sense of humor. But I realized in all that, that religious men have the pick up skills equivalent to the drunk dude, who was seriously plastered... *sigh* staying classy home town I see.

Marriage

BI is engaged.  The boy who said he would never get married found someone he wanted to get hitched to.  I could be sad - that was one of the reasons we never dated - but really it was only one of the small reasons it didn't work out for us.  In the end I am actually thrilled for them and their family.

Why?

Because it reminds me that men when they find that person are happy to commit.  When they aren't just bidding their time or using you to fill a void.  CW has this problem with her man who keeps saying he'll do it when the time is right for him.  See the thing is - it seems like the time is never right and honestly it might never be.  She might wait and wait and wait and he'll never be ready - because he's a man-child like AB or because she's not the one to make him realize that life without her is not a life fully lived.

In the sea of commitment phobes and man-children BI's action reminds me there will be someone who's willing to take risks to make sure I'm his.  I just have to develop some patience.

The Question of the Evening/Day...

Is not whether last night was a date, a date date or a pseudo date, no it is more what the hell is my life doing repeating itself in this way. Okay so I did really like, maybe even love BI, hey I think it was something I fell into, completely unconscious of the whole process in this bizarre way. But that was ages ago, years in fact, and yet maybe because of how it all came to be, it is still the litmus test for everything, bet that would surprise BI. I was talking to AR last night about it all, with BI in the beginning I would analyse every little thing, did he like me? did I like him? why did he do that, was that a sign? Blah, blah, blah...and on and on it went for a few weeks until I was like hmph, he'll figure it out if it he wants to, and sure enough he did. Ms. J even quipped well this is how it is suppose to work you know, you get to know someone and then if things change one thing leads to another and someone eventually chokes out those magical and painful words, I like you, like like you like you... ahh the blessed joy of it all. So ya, there you have it folks, no big flashy show, just life, nice and simple, and thankfully BI trained me, and now it is time to see how well he did...

PS. I wish life worked like the ball... but I guess it does you keep shaking it up until you get the answer you were looking for.

I wonder if you ever

Get used to this feeling? Or any of the feelings around relationships? And while yes I guess I'm referencing all those happy feelings, I am specifically in this moment talking about that old as ways of communicating feeling issue. Even back when Tweets were just a glimmer in some super computer's eye and those too were a glimmer in some silicon's eye - girls, ladies, women waited to be called, written, talked to or whatever mode of communication was the accepted norm and of course the easiest for the man involved. So me? I'm waiting for an email, I've ruled out a text or a phone call despite the fact that yes OM does have the ability to do so. It's going to be fast approaching 48 hrs, and yes while granted I guess I shouldn't care, I do. It's a feeling you don't get used to, the slow rejection. Maybe I'm really a girl because I like to talk it out, to know the hows and whys and sometimes that's not an option. In this case I want to know what the hell is going through his lovely bald head. Yes, No, Not Now, She's kind of odd (Yes I am, I remember an ex saying I am as complex as a 8 sided Rubik cube), OMG she's got a tattoo - I wonder where it is and what it is of (You'll see it in due time, most of the world has), I don't think there is chemistry (Humph! I'll show you chemistry just hand me the vodka), I can't believe I didn't kiss her on Saturday (I can't believe you didn't either for the record). I just wish honestly that I could get a shot to show me - you know on my terms - cook for him or do as I did with BIWHMBHWTMK (Boy I would have married but he wasn't the marrying kind), we spent an entire day doing what I wanted and in the end he chose the movie... I can tell you I know he wanted to kiss me that day, again he didn't either... damn it. Oh well he's got a girl and a little boy and as happy as a clam or something like that. Where were we, feelings - so no hopes high here.

Blog Boys

AB aka:ABWLHSTDTAAP (Artistic Boy Who Lost His Shot To Date This Apparently "Amazing" Person...) - LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP
AL aka: BWCTBISOA (Boy who claims to be in search of Ariele) Ariele Lover for short... no? SINGLE
BB: Barista Boy or Slow it on down there, don't chase me I have bad Grade 2 memories I haven't addressed in regards to that....  MARRIED, ALREADY DIVORCED and TRYING THE SAME WAGON AGAIN...OY VAY
Belgian Boy: An accent to make you weak in the knees and a heart as warm.
BIaka: BIWHMBHWTMK (Boy I would have married but he wasn't the marrying kind) ENGAGED/LT
Mr. Brilliant: Awkward non-date and little else to describe our friendship. He's too like me in all the ways I don't like me to be a suitable match. DATING
BV aka: BVHMAOMP (Boy V has met at OM's party)
CEF: Crazy Ex Fiance
CW: Co-Worker since *giggle* is an appropriate description - social justice minded, thesis writing, funny guy
Date* - Includes all the forms of possible dates - friend, pseudo or the real thing
DB aka: DBWCPAMHOR (Drummer Boy Who Can Play A Mean Hand of Rook) - On paper he is all that I should want and ever need. I've known him since I was a child and he has always had this inexplicable pull for me. GIRLFRIEND? Regardless, no longer interested
DirectoryBoy: Fellow student with some weird views on women. Let's just say that's a ship that I torpedoed.
Mr. Not So Grumpy Anymore (Formerly known as the Douche):Moping, always sullen fellow student, questionable possible dating material DATING (thus the non-grumble status)
IT: Intentional Typo
Lawyer Guy: The name says it all - he's a lawyer, he's a guy and he is my EX-boyfriend and is now referred to a NLLL-Ex-Boyfriend or NB
MW aka: MWBTTCGCH (More wilderness boy than this city girl can handle) - Tangoed with that oh so briefly.  DATING
NLLL: Non-ladylike language
NN aka: NNBFMCD - New Neighbour Boy From My Chemistry Days MARRIED
OM: short for many options MARRIED
RB: aka Runner Boy - the sort of dater, sort of single one and definitely not sort of an option.- MARRIED
WTD:What the Duck - my Blackberry's overused phrase as of late...
X:Mr. International Man of Mystery and absolutely lovely to boot.

Last Updated: September 20, 2013