Sunday, March 07, 2010

This Song Makes Me

want to claw out the remainders of my functioning heart and shove them in my ears or the reverse. I lived it (IT) and loved it back in September when he first started taking apart my heart, and now, now it makes me want to hurt someone. Why? Because I am at odd with the emotions, sure I still want him, but this morning I realized (after a wonderful Gravol free sleep), I like my bed. I am able to embrace the want and hurt, but I'm not able to make peace with the kind of work it would take to get back to where we were all the while knowing it wouldn't ever be the way it was before. Before when I was naive enough to believe he could grow up, that he wasn't happily damaged and broken. So to the whole world that seems to be in love with the song, I get it, but could we move on already.

The Song

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