Saturday, May 02, 2009

Non-Date Results

Well I guess what happens at the end of a non-date is as ill defined as a "non-date." For some bizarre very S&P reason I have spent the afternoon in this haze of ___, call it confusion, apathy, hurt and conscious emotional distance. I know that OM is not ready to date, and yet OM is physically interested (sorry I don't know how else to say that) and me? Me? Well I'm unsure in that while I am "physically interested" I don't know how emotionally invested I would like to be. It's not a place of any type of security. Who knows the when, where and whatever whenever he decides, if he decides to move forward.

In the end he may not even have the basic short list of requirements. I am not talking about those he must love Krispy Creme doughnuts and Dirty Dancing "requirements." I am actually talking about: religion, kids and marriage - not in that order. But really I think that's what it comes down to at this age - do we believe the same thing (roughly), do we have the same view on kids (yay or nay) and do you have any intention of getting married. Because in the end if it's no to the kids and the ring then what in sam hell am I doing hauling my tired ass out of bed at 7am on a Saturday to see you? But of course you can't ask those questions on a non-date. No, on a non-date you dance around the hormones, the pheromones and the oh no's and rather awkwardly converse. flirt and leave poor S&P feeling well sad. Sorry folks I thought I would be excited but rather I'm just a little confused and sad. I'm sad that this couldn't be clearer, that I'm sitting in limbo and I'm not really sure what to do with this mixed bag of emotions. Those thoughts like, would he even date date me or is there really just platonic feelings? Am I waiting for something that will never come.

Nevermind the fact that despite how complimentary we are, I just wonder what the next step is. I know that my door isn't being knocked down by Barista boy or anyone else, but I guess I feel like this should be clearer.

Sure I can give you a run down of the non-date: hug, vegan waffles (which I have to say was awesome), coffee, photo, flowers (not for me - around us), views, conversation, and well a somewhat end to the date, sorry the non-date. Then again what are my options - a hug to further awkward the communication, or even worse (or better) a kiss. Hey I wouldn't have minded but to be honest I think it would have spelled disaster, then again I wonder if this whole being friends who are interested in each other thing could spell disaster two. Put two people with conflicting feelings and propriety together long enough and someone ditches the propriety and it all implodes emotionally.



Maybe in the end Kelly's right, "boys will be boys they don't want to define it"

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