I Really Should be Sleeping

But apparently my brain feels like it needs to spit something out into the beautiful world of the interwebs.  I have a discussion with CW on Friday, as I was trying to not keel over from my gluten intake,  it appears she doesn't believe in a real true love.  I know there isn't "the one" and I'm not going to ever argue there is only person for everyone - but I do believe that there are people/relationships that are healthier - ones that actually project forward.  Relationships where the guy despite all his talk actually does something to tell the world that you are theirs. CW is not in that kind of relationship and well we all know that I'm not either, that's for sure.  But you know what, I've seen it, I know it exists.  I know that the ones with backbones and feet over head exist - so I'm going to wait.  Yippee more waiting.  Part of the waiting game that I'm finding frustrating is not that I'm not dating at the moment - I've got enough on my plate.  It is that there is this belief that I will be "lucky" or "successful" once I enter seminary.  Yes folks because there is a large number of single men who are liberal, of a similar heritage and love to run roaming around a tiny seminary. It frustrates me.  But before I frustrate you back to the topic of Mr Bomastic a mutual friend of ours posted this picture on FB.  I think it is priceless, especially given the whole discussion regarding his "it's complicated" status.  Regardless of whatever he does to my GI tract - I'm over it.

29 before 29 Revised

I had a moment this week where I realized that Mr Bombastic might actually factor into the list and well maybe that reason I need to dust it off... See number 10 and no I did not label him in preparation for this list... Ms. J has promised to help me assess the situation.  Anyone else have comments to add to the situation and or the gaps on the list.

1. Apply for Graduate school (write the General GRE and Subject GRE) - I will not dignify this with more than one spot.
2. Dye hair blond and cut short - thinking pixie short but I hate growing it out from that length, it's the devil.
3. Make something with squash blossoms
4. See at least two VIFF films Ms. J and I due to various reasons are only seeing one this year...
5. Run 5 marathons races since I started to get sick running hasn't been super high on the able to do list but this could be an option
6. Get a professional massage, and no not that kind of massage... btwn my acupuncturist and my ball Hatha classes I get massage enough
7. Go to The Diamond, try a new signature drink - ie. not vodka based, and if it is gin based I will hand over my Blackberry for the night.
8. For an equal drinking/class experience go here for my birthday Went for my anti-anniversary celebrations
9. Plant a mini garden and try not to kill it basil died but the oregano and mint still survived
10. Use the word bombastic and/or find someone bombastic and get their number
11. The above will be done at either 7 or Shangra La's bar - which I've been dying to go to... alcohol is a theme here, oops. In my brilliance booked the staff Christmas lunch at the Shangra La's restaurant.
12. Dance somewhere - flash mob would be a safe place... I have a fear of rhythmic movement and rightfully so.
13. Have a body part waxed
14. Get another tattoo (I want a really big one, though I will likely settle for something small again)
15. Make homemade marshmallows for Christmas gifts - you better act surprised y'all.
16. Get a short story published... it's in the works, it is I promise
17. Give a random stranger on the T a bouquet of flowers
8. Learn to drive - my parental unit insisted on this today
19. Learn to read French
20. Take a beginner tap dance or ice skating class
21. Invest in a Jo Malone fragrance - which I might add are PRICEY and hard to come by on this side of the Atlantic
22. Take someone to NYC
23. Go to a US College Football game
24
25
26
27
28
29

Not Right

I marched into the Interfaith Center today an hour before my meeting - I knew doing so would increase my chances of seeing Mr. Bombastic, but I did not to actually see him and secondly I really did not expect the weird emotional response. I had butterflies and the related shyness when we acknowledged each other.  Dude, self, not okay.  I have no desire to know why I had those butterflies.  All I need to know is when they happen the calm, confident adult female I am goes AWOL.  Boo to all of it.  Hopefully next week the feelings will not remain. Why?  Because to be honest I would rather flirt with him, enjoy that banter and leave it at that, he's in an "it's complicated" space and I'm in I want to a relationship and if I can't have that then I will take just the superficial flirting and leave the rest space.

Since it was mentioned...

So I found Mr. Bombastic, finally, I will not divulge how long I spent trying to figure who he was, and of course when I found him, I completely remembered his name... Not important though. He's in one of those "It's Complicated" places according to his FB status (yes he added me - silly fool). So what does that tell me or us.  Well I for one am not a fan of the "It's Complicated" status because it says we are too comfortable/dependent on each other to cut the strings but we want to/need to. I as a whole have mixed feelings regarding FB statuses.  I for one have nothing posted, I think my lack of pictures with a male or a wedding ring or really any of those things says enough, nor do I think it is really anyone's beeswax if I am single.  However, and I stress however, sometimes I understand why it is an option.  I have a friend of mine who I lost contact with in the MySpace to FB transition.  I know she is/was married as a friend of mine used her photographer for her own wedding.  However this individual has no recent pictures of her husband, does not wear a ring and doesn't use her married name apart from her documentation (we are in the same department at school).  She is not the only person who appears to be in a separation/divorce, and well you do not want to assume anything...

Anyways Mr. Bombastic is also Mr. It's Complicated and I have far too many of those in my life, we more specifically AB as a friend has filled that It's Complicated space and I am not seeking any new applicants.  Well it was fun for that little while.

So the song is not relevant but it is a visually beautiful video and the song is not bad either, you know these days anything other than that damn Lady Antebellum song works for me.

The Wonders of FB

Well thanks to FB Mr. Bombastic has a name.  Finally.  And I know that he's not a pre or even just slightly post fetus.  But he is taken.  Such is life.  And now on to begin that paper I've been avoiding.

Bleck

I promised myself many many years ago I would never post an "I hate my job" or even worse "I hate my staff" posting.  But well, *ghdfgireotraogh* does not even begin to cover the frustration that I feel.  I have been sick for the last week and I return to this attempted mutiny in the works from my most frustrating staff members.  I do not have the patience for it. I do not have the patience for drama period.  But alas here I am with drama and a case of the blahhs already as the waves of work and school starts to roll in faster.  Fun times.

Slowly...

I am slowly working my way through the novel I'm supposed to have finished for Wednesday, at this rate it isn't going to happen, I am also slowly trying to figure out how if at all to have semi-consistent contact with AB and not be mad at him, or how about slowly learning to hear and swallow again, and there is also that paper I really should get done sooner rather than later.

But you know what I find myself thinking about in the down times, other than diasporic theories or how long I can wait before running again?  Mr. Bombastic (referenced here and here). What? Who? WHY?! Oh Lord WHY?! Is what I assume your response would be.  To be honest I never thought that I would have given him a second thought in class, never mind after it was over, but I stumbled upon him in a group event on campus.  This said group event changed how I saw him and now I'm confused.  Now I know he's likely the age of a marginally aged/matured fetus, hell everyone on campus is compared to me.  It is his self involved, for lack of an alternative term, bombastic nature that appeals to me.  Not in a you'd be a fabulous person to date because you aren't completely into yourself and you are kind, open and compassionate kind of person.  No purely because I would love to know how self involved he is, the plague of man-children infecting this globe has me seriously curious.  The problem is I have labeled  him as Mr. Bombastic in my head and I actually have no idea what his name is. Yes I might have stared at the back of his head for 13 weeks, and the front of his face for those 13 weeks while waiting for the bus, but I don't know who he is... thus no FB stalking... *sigh* I really wanted to  devote time to FB stalking Mr. Bombastic...

Regardless, I should get back to Pretty in Pink and clear my mind of everything I should be working on.

Sick again...

For the love of pink Louboutin's I am sick again.  There are small pluses - it has taken me a week of fighting before I resigned myself to antibiotics.  But on that note I'm going to be in Gravol induced coma because I know what these antibiotics do to me.

Hi All

So it seems in recent weeks that I've picked up a few lovely new folks.  So to those following or those lurking in the Interweb's shadows. The run down here is quite simple:

1. Everyone gets a nickname - there was a time in my life where I had my name and everything out in the open along with the names of Ms. J and well anyone who would grace these posts.  Well then CEF and a few other crazies caused me to shut down my old blog.  I actually stopped blogging for about 6 months which is a lifetime for me.  Then my shrink thought it was time for me to start dating, so here we are.

2.  What's up with the names?  Well L or HHMNERP (Hot Hot Married Native Ex Roomie Princess) as she prefers to be called started up the naming game when it came to naming boys we would see around town but didn't know their names - the very first one - Boy I Know My Mother Would Hate... I still see him around town.  The names protect everyone and makes everything else a little more kosher around these parts.

3. Check the right column for the run down on the names.

4. Who am I?  Well you can think of me as whoever you want - sorry no details, I've learned the less you really know the more protection I have - goodness it's like I am hiding from someone...

5. Comment - let me know what you think - I am always open for a swift kick or more preferably a laugh.  The large majority of these posts are written out of sheer humorous frustration.  I'm seriously not cranky and bitchy all the time, well unless you're one of my employees... just kidding.

6. Last but not least all my followers have pretty fabulous blogs, check them out.

White Horses

I am going to keep playing this song on permanent repeat for the next two weeks, or longer if I need to.  AB texted me.  Goodness *sigh* a year after telling me he didn't want a relationship and now this, texting to check if any white horses have come into my life.  You know there is a lot of NLLL language I want to scream at him.  But I think we all know that amidst that frustration and heartbreak in the process of healing, is that like of hard to shake unconditional love.  The kind that boys like AB know how to milk for all its worth (there are a lot of girls who know how to do that say).  But regardless, I am going to be feeding AB next Thursday, apparently his jobless self is in some serious money problems and he's going hungry and has a shitty roommate.  To which I feel like saying dear, you totally got yourself in this mess and your damn pride is going to keep you there - referencing the roommate and job fiasco.  As to me, I know better than Taylor, I've put the months in and stared that the unused pregnancy test in my closet (why, what? and all that - bought two when there was that whole scare last year), I know that he's not my future, regardless of what he might want.  But I don't need to ramble on, Taylor is able to say it better.

 

Hmmm

Well I am no sicker, but no healthier.  My acupuncturist insists I'm paranoid, to which I feel like saying lots of things which would support her statement.  But regardless I'm off to bed, sleep and more sleep seems to be the only option.  But when I am awake I'm listening to this lovely lady whose MTV Music award performance caught my full attention.  Wow to the song and running in those heels...

Damn Immune System

I have almost completed my second week of ramping up for marathon training, and what happens, well first I have my timely visitor and then my left lymph node decided to start moaning this after.  WTF.  I am not getting sick already.  Seriously if I do, I am going to be demanding someone do something.  No one be them 20 or 80 (I'm neither) should be so chronically feeble.  Anyways, it doesn't help that AB posted some pictures on FB, one was a candid of me looking pissed off, which likely was what I looked like most of that frustrating evening...

Gah, is more the feeling.  Like yes I want to remember getting all done up, including some fabulous hair, like seriously fabulous hair, never mind everything else only to be socially shunned by AB for the long train ride out to the end of the line.  The party itself was a bust with AB getting drunk on gin, and then I suffered (sober) the long ride home with him trying to figure his drunk ass self out, he was handsy one moment and cold the next. And then I almost was stuck cabbing it home because there was only one bus out of town.  And since then it's been the cold shoulder.  Which I take as  I (AB) totally know I shouldn't have tried to feel you up but then again it's what happens when I consume gin and stand to close to you (me).  Lord do I know.  Note to me - stay clear of AB and maybe just add another few miles if you hear he's cracked the Bombay.

So maybe I should be thankful for the pissed off candid shot, a daily reminder to him of my passive aggressive hatred for all his man child ways and maybe just his behaviour in general. 

To which I say self, get thee to bed, focus on the pain in your throat and not the one in your side.

This post is brought to you by the letters D, I and T

D is for done, as in my to-do list that a month ago seemed large enough to be daunting to this Type A, To Do list junkie is almost complete.  Yes all I have left to complete is the purchase of a memory stick for year end and dropping off my winter coats at the dry cleaner. Yes this to do list completion means my application for graduate school is done.  Yep, done, done, done

I is for itchy, itchy, itchy.  I know my PU insists that my "intolerances" are all in my head. Some days I would like him to be in my body when I choose stupidly and have dairy or whatever.  I'm itchy, puffy and overall not happy, so why I had that piece of cake I have no idea.  Seriously no idea.

T is for trolls and technology.  The trolls of the interwebs annoy me, just as I am sure the bridge trolls would have daily annoyed me in a previous life, you can be reborn in another century/universe but you can never escape them it seems.  I am getting to the point where I am trying to consistently stop feeding them because the only thing that silences a troll is starvation, despite their taunting.... blerg

And as for technology well I have a craptastic Blackberry from Rogers and after weeks of tweeting, emailed and such like they were suppose to call me at work today to discuss my phone because discussing anything about my Blackberry on my Blackberry is not going to happen, because as I said before it doesn't work... did I mention I hate Rogers and Blackberry.  This is my 4th and it still doesn't work, which prevents me from working at home.  I never thought I would say it but I'm SO tempted to get a land line.

Sigh

So I did it, finally signed up for a dating site, not Match like I had considered before. It was the one that I met MW and Farmer Boy on actually. And while I have absolutely no expectations, being at the recent cultural event has made me feel like I needed to go back to this site and give it one more try of looking within my community. That and well we all need the drama around these parts now don't we?

I promise I will do my reading...

considering my laundry is on its way, the errands are done, I went for a short run and the house is tidy and all I have left to do is update my gluten free blog... this day has been productive.  This song came on the TV as I was getting finished in the kitchen - the topic of love and loneliness seems to be floating around the interwebs today, and I know that this song may not be uplifting per say but I still think it's pretty great, and well the harmonies are pretty fabulous too.

I love this song too