I Really Should be Sleeping

But apparently my brain feels like it needs to spit something out into the beautiful world of the interwebs.  I have a discussion with CW on Friday, as I was trying to not keel over from my gluten intake,  it appears she doesn't believe in a real true love.  I know there isn't "the one" and I'm not going to ever argue there is only person for everyone - but I do believe that there are people/relationships that are healthier - ones that actually project forward.  Relationships where the guy despite all his talk actually does something to tell the world that you are theirs. CW is not in that kind of relationship and well we all know that I'm not either, that's for sure.  But you know what, I've seen it, I know it exists.  I know that the ones with backbones and feet over head exist - so I'm going to wait.  Yippee more waiting.  Part of the waiting game that I'm finding frustrating is not that I'm not dating at the moment - I've got enough on my plate.  It is that there is this belief that I will be "lucky" or "successful" once I enter seminary.  Yes folks because there is a large number of single men who are liberal, of a similar heritage and love to run roaming around a tiny seminary. It frustrates me.  But before I frustrate you back to the topic of Mr Bomastic a mutual friend of ours posted this picture on FB.  I think it is priceless, especially given the whole discussion regarding his "it's complicated" status.  Regardless of whatever he does to my GI tract - I'm over it.

29 before 29 Revised

I had a moment this week where I realized that Mr Bombastic might actually factor into the list and well maybe that reason I need to dust it off... See number 10 and no I did not label him in preparation for this list... Ms. J has promised to help me assess the situation.  Anyone else have comments to add to the situation and or the gaps on the list.

1. Apply for Graduate school (write the General GRE and Subject GRE) - I will not dignify this with more than one spot.
2. Dye hair blond and cut short - thinking pixie short but I hate growing it out from that length, it's the devil.
3. Make something with squash blossoms
4. See at least two VIFF films Ms. J and I due to various reasons are only seeing one this year...
5. Run 5 marathons races since I started to get sick running hasn't been super high on the able to do list but this could be an option
6. Get a professional massage, and no not that kind of massage... btwn my acupuncturist and my ball Hatha classes I get massage enough
7. Go to The Diamond, try a new signature drink - ie. not vodka based, and if it is gin based I will hand over my Blackberry for the night.
8. For an equal drinking/class experience go here for my birthday Went for my anti-anniversary celebrations
9. Plant a mini garden and try not to kill it basil died but the oregano and mint still survived
10. Use the word bombastic and/or find someone bombastic and get their number
11. The above will be done at either 7 or Shangra La's bar - which I've been dying to go to... alcohol is a theme here, oops. In my brilliance booked the staff Christmas lunch at the Shangra La's restaurant.
12. Dance somewhere - flash mob would be a safe place... I have a fear of rhythmic movement and rightfully so.
13. Have a body part waxed
14. Get another tattoo (I want a really big one, though I will likely settle for something small again)
15. Make homemade marshmallows for Christmas gifts - you better act surprised y'all.
16. Get a short story published... it's in the works, it is I promise
17. Give a random stranger on the T a bouquet of flowers
8. Learn to drive - my parental unit insisted on this today
19. Learn to read French
20. Take a beginner tap dance or ice skating class
21. Invest in a Jo Malone fragrance - which I might add are PRICEY and hard to come by on this side of the Atlantic
22. Take someone to NYC
23. Go to a US College Football game
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25
26
27
28
29

Not Right

I marched into the Interfaith Center today an hour before my meeting - I knew doing so would increase my chances of seeing Mr. Bombastic, but I did not to actually see him and secondly I really did not expect the weird emotional response. I had butterflies and the related shyness when we acknowledged each other.  Dude, self, not okay.  I have no desire to know why I had those butterflies.  All I need to know is when they happen the calm, confident adult female I am goes AWOL.  Boo to all of it.  Hopefully next week the feelings will not remain. Why?  Because to be honest I would rather flirt with him, enjoy that banter and leave it at that, he's in an "it's complicated" space and I'm in I want to a relationship and if I can't have that then I will take just the superficial flirting and leave the rest space.

Since it was mentioned...

So I found Mr. Bombastic, finally, I will not divulge how long I spent trying to figure who he was, and of course when I found him, I completely remembered his name... Not important though. He's in one of those "It's Complicated" places according to his FB status (yes he added me - silly fool). So what does that tell me or us.  Well I for one am not a fan of the "It's Complicated" status because it says we are too comfortable/dependent on each other to cut the strings but we want to/need to. I as a whole have mixed feelings regarding FB statuses.  I for one have nothing posted, I think my lack of pictures with a male or a wedding ring or really any of those things says enough, nor do I think it is really anyone's beeswax if I am single.  However, and I stress however, sometimes I understand why it is an option.  I have a friend of mine who I lost contact with in the MySpace to FB transition.  I know she is/was married as a friend of mine used her photographer for her own wedding.  However this individual has no recent pictures of her husband, does not wear a ring and doesn't use her married name apart from her documentation (we are in the same department at school).  She is not the only person who appears to be in a separation/divorce, and well you do not want to assume anything...

Anyways Mr. Bombastic is also Mr. It's Complicated and I have far too many of those in my life, we more specifically AB as a friend has filled that It's Complicated space and I am not seeking any new applicants.  Well it was fun for that little while.

So the song is not relevant but it is a visually beautiful video and the song is not bad either, you know these days anything other than that damn Lady Antebellum song works for me.

The Wonders of FB

Well thanks to FB Mr. Bombastic has a name.  Finally.  And I know that he's not a pre or even just slightly post fetus.  But he is taken.  Such is life.  And now on to begin that paper I've been avoiding.

Slowly...

I am slowly working my way through the novel I'm supposed to have finished for Wednesday, at this rate it isn't going to happen, I am also slowly trying to figure out how if at all to have semi-consistent contact with AB and not be mad at him, or how about slowly learning to hear and swallow again, and there is also that paper I really should get done sooner rather than later.

But you know what I find myself thinking about in the down times, other than diasporic theories or how long I can wait before running again?  Mr. Bombastic (referenced here and here). What? Who? WHY?! Oh Lord WHY?! Is what I assume your response would be.  To be honest I never thought that I would have given him a second thought in class, never mind after it was over, but I stumbled upon him in a group event on campus.  This said group event changed how I saw him and now I'm confused.  Now I know he's likely the age of a marginally aged/matured fetus, hell everyone on campus is compared to me.  It is his self involved, for lack of an alternative term, bombastic nature that appeals to me.  Not in a you'd be a fabulous person to date because you aren't completely into yourself and you are kind, open and compassionate kind of person.  No purely because I would love to know how self involved he is, the plague of man-children infecting this globe has me seriously curious.  The problem is I have labeled  him as Mr. Bombastic in my head and I actually have no idea what his name is. Yes I might have stared at the back of his head for 13 weeks, and the front of his face for those 13 weeks while waiting for the bus, but I don't know who he is... thus no FB stalking... *sigh* I really wanted to  devote time to FB stalking Mr. Bombastic...

Regardless, I should get back to Pretty in Pink and clear my mind of everything I should be working on.

Back in the Game

I started my first in class lecture class in longer than I can remember - actually it was probably about 2007 - three years from the classroom, it was hard to be there again.  To remember what it used to be like and what it's like now being closer to my post-doc prof's age than the majority of the class.  In the end I think I could have hugged everyone - it was awesome - it like getting a super powered acupuncture treatment combined with a runner's high - my brain lives again.

So now is the hard part - one I have class readings to add to everything else - but that isn't a huge issue in and of itself, but I still have the GRE and GRE Lit exam, AND I have the papers for this class.

The current course expectations are minor but I have to make a proposal to my prof for him to mark a paper double the length of the term paper's proposed length so I can get a paper to submit to grad school... eeek.  Back to the reading.

And yes Fort Minor is on right now...

And if you are looking for me you'll find my comments at www.thefeministafiles.blogspot.com

PS. I found someone bombastic - yes Mr. "I call genre an evaluative paradigm" - I am coming for you - you best beware.  Dude that's just a fancy term for a category, really?! You had to come out the gate with that.

PPS. I have 10 journal articles to read on the train - weeeeeee!!

Photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/stmartain/342495493/