Ms. J recently quipped that I am always trying to be diplomatic. I try. I try to be a lady, like a 50's lady, not whatever we deem a lady these days. I pursue the following beliefs that a lady:1. Knows how walk in heels without looking like the only time she does is for a job on a corner.
2. Only wears skirts at or least past your finger tips
3. Understands the importance and beauty of stockings - all forms, full or thigh high, I didn't say that a lady needs to be frigid.
4. Tips and tips well
5. Always is quick to say Thank you, Please, Yes (not yep or uh huh) and Sorry where appropriate
6. Curtsey's, even if just with your upper body language
7. Stands on a full train to ensure that someone else can sit
8. Always appropriately attired
9. Makes the bed
10. Brings a hostess gift, even in the case of OM, he's basically as hostess...
11. Never drinks beer, and only vodka minimally or gin, though this lady has learned it makes her do non-ladylike things
12. Never leaves too much out for viewing, though even that can be done classy
I do all of these lovely things, not because I believe they make me any better, no I do them to equal out all the very apparently non lady like things I do...
1. Thinks horrible cougar like things about certain actor who shall remain nameless
2. Use NLLL
3. Initiate things that have me now labelled by AB is a non-good girl (WTF I might add), not that we need to worry about any of that now.
4. Curse little children (not at their faces though)
4. Curse little children (not at their faces though)
5. Covet Louboutin booties
6. Teach my Blackberry the importance of four letter words and other essential vernacular
7. Secretly or not so secretly hope that OM is a closet case, so I can say I saw it from a mile away
8. Flirt shamelessly with AL - especially when he's drunk
9. Hug OM a little tighter than I should despite 7 because I know it makes him blush
10. Date more than one man or even worse give out pity dates to absolve my conscience
11. Swoon over animal prints and quite possibly have her Blackberry covered in one...
I wrote a similar post awhile back:
ReplyDeleteWhat Every Man Should Know
Seriously... the pity date thing is most unladylike, but I see why you do it. Every lady loves to be loved...
ReplyDeleteOkay so let's call them practice dates - I figure the more practice they get the more hope there is of normalizing them...
ReplyDelete