I'm A Lit Geek

I get it.  I think most people who spend an extended conversation with me get it, really quickly, for some.  I have opinions - some of which hurt the hearts of the ones I love - poor X (I didn't like the book he bought for me as a gift and yes I could have lied but BSing my boyfriend to the extent I would have needed to is even more cold and damaging to me)... onwards.  At dinner last night Ms J's man asked what I am going to graduate school for beyond seminary... and then the thesis comes out along with discussions on everything else literature related.

In all this graduate school talk there is always the question, so what are you going to do with THAT.  Yes a MA is still a THAT degree.  Well dears, I do not hope to teach high school students. I would like to teach college students who understand the glorious importance of Beowulf and well the whole canon and how it shaped all the layers of development and experimentation.  But here is the issue I am realizing, those students don't exist.  They used to, but they don't now.  The education system is more or less abysmal, so high school teaching here I might be coming in an attempt to give our university professors something to work with.
Here is the reason for this change of mind:

http://shitmystudentswrite.tumblr.com/

http://croserun.tumblr.com/post/4417060448/okay-i-see-this-impression-from-my-students (felt I needed to add this too)

I will say do not drink coffee and read this, please for the sake of your gorgeous laptop.

Attn: East Coast Women

You apparently are not aware but you have an eligible bachelor in your midst.  Seriously.  I know everyone says all the good ones are gone but I believe while there might not be huge quantities left - there are some.  This one is even a doctor to be... kill two birds with one stone er shinny rock - snag a good guy and get your mother off your case for all the years you dated those emo man-children/aspiring *cough* er going nowhere musicians.  Who?  Well if I handed you his info then how would I know you worked for it.  Silly ladies, he is out there - keep looking and I'm sure you'll find him.

Hint - He comments on here once and while

Deep Breath

I've been thinking, more than I should, and while my brain is beyond fried at this moment I am going to force it work while I wait for my tater tots (I need a GF carbohydrate in my stomach to soak up the monstrosity of apple, tea and coffee). 

To the point, rather than the death (sorry Princess Bride moment), I have been listening to Brooke Fraser's cd on endless repeat as of late for various reason - soothing, good message, and monotone in a good way.   There is a line in CS Lewis song, "Am I lost or just less found?"  I am trying to make peace with this journey.  Trust and the future have yet to clearly go hand in hand in my life.  I've had many moments of full force forward movement with equally full force stops.  This journey while great in theory, those moments before this class started, and in all those moments that could come.   But at this moment I wonder if all this is just me lost somewhere.  I can't see that and maybe that is what worries me.  This present moment worries me more as it all seems right.  Right is so relative in our understandings of our own life never mind how other lives with affect us and vice versa.

So on that note I will say I'm less found, and I hope to keep find more of me, like my back bone and the maturity guts to email my professor and say I need help.... that if you know me is not something I ask for casually.

Back in the Game

I started my first in class lecture class in longer than I can remember - actually it was probably about 2007 - three years from the classroom, it was hard to be there again.  To remember what it used to be like and what it's like now being closer to my post-doc prof's age than the majority of the class.  In the end I think I could have hugged everyone - it was awesome - it like getting a super powered acupuncture treatment combined with a runner's high - my brain lives again.

So now is the hard part - one I have class readings to add to everything else - but that isn't a huge issue in and of itself, but I still have the GRE and GRE Lit exam, AND I have the papers for this class.

The current course expectations are minor but I have to make a proposal to my prof for him to mark a paper double the length of the term paper's proposed length so I can get a paper to submit to grad school... eeek.  Back to the reading.

And yes Fort Minor is on right now...

And if you are looking for me you'll find my comments at www.thefeministafiles.blogspot.com

PS. I found someone bombastic - yes Mr. "I call genre an evaluative paradigm" - I am coming for you - you best beware.  Dude that's just a fancy term for a category, really?! You had to come out the gate with that.

PPS. I have 10 journal articles to read on the train - weeeeeee!!

Photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/stmartain/342495493/