Bitten

By the jealousy bug that is.

Now you might think, well that's normal, after all I do like RB.  Well yes and no.  I don't normally find myself jealous in relationships as I highly value trust and find it easy to give, though it is easy to permanently lose.  Also maybe differently I don't find that jealously fuels me to do crazy things but it does fuel my insecurity.  For example RB was talking with a fellow student today - she's younger than him, perky, loud even and her and I were wearing almost identical outfits.  She elicits a completely different response from him and than I do, the kind that makes me go how am I different?  What does she have that let's him feel comfortable about throwing an arm around her or being so boisterous with her when he and I sure don't laugh like that and he has never touched me.  Now granted the context around RB and my relationship is a little different but it makes that little voice in my head question well maybe I am too old, too much like a mother, not pretty enough, not skinny enough and so on and so forth.  I would rather not like him than like him at this moment.