Victoria mentioned yesterday that she feels that in dating there is not enough honesty regarding the fear. Today she furthered this idea of the fear as:
"And I'm not just talking about the big fears, I'm talking about the littler ones, the going on a date ones, the meeting someone for the first time ones, the what if it's awful, how do I politely escape ones, the what if there's that awkward, dead silence fears. I've had them and done it anyway."
So here it is V, I am scared. I have my fears. I have my moments that cause my stomach to churn. I even had a moment like that this week as X can attest to and it made me feel horrible and I know it hurt him too. I also have big fears - like will I ever feel ready to be married - I am not referencing this in regards to X. Just after CEF the whole fairytale, run off into the sunset and get married and live happily ever after business does not exist. It doesn't mean I don't want it to happen, it's just hard when that little voice of doubt has a tendency to creep into the picture.
The issue is whether or not the fear stops the forward growth - I sure hope it does not.
Cristina/Owen I think are the best example that comes to mind when you despite your scars and your fears try to press through and find love
Yeah, I think that's what I'm working on now, is not letting the fear stop me from growing. Indeedily
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