Friday, December 17, 2010

I Must Confess

I have never looked back on an ex or pseudo relationship and thought, damn I should have never let them go, they were so good/right etc...  Yep, never.  I know you're going to say what about AB?  Well if you've been following along I don't think I ever really thought that he or we were so good - we were the definition of dysfunction or more so I was a man-child enabler...

I am beginning to wonder if that is normal.  I know I'm not normal - maybe this is just one more thing that I'm not normal about.  I have been thinking about this since I saw Dr. A's picture on FB, the first time I've seen him in any form in 5 years.  It's a little weird.  We went out bad - or more so he did.  And any feelings I had left over that fateful Christmas party where washed away with two very expensive martini's thrown back shot style and his fateful head rub to the horrified looks on my coworkers faces on the other side of the table.  Dr A went down in those flames, not the ones he should have gone down in - the no marriage, no kids, 15 year age gap flames.  Funny I always let them lose with the simple things.   Boy who Played the Guitar also pops up on FB and when I see the rare photos of his wife it reminds me that there is no way in hell I would sing the words of Adele.  Maybe it's a good thing I will never want or have to - make me wonder if I haven't loved enough.

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