My PU, as he's referred to around here, and I have an improving relationship but it's not conventional because I never was a "conventional daughter." I was the take care of my brother, make dinner, do homework, serious child. I didn't like boys (in my PU's opinion - but I did think boys were cool just so we are straight on that) and boys as far as I believed would never like me. I never went on a date in high school, kissed a boy (had to wait until 2nd year of university and I really should have waited longer) and I went to grad/prom alone.
I have no issue with this being my teenage story because the guys I went to school with were my friends - in the end I preferred being their friends and still being their friends, like BI. Given that arrangement I think my parents got lulled into the perception that their daughter was either asexual or like a Disney Princess who being single her whole like miraculously stumbles upon a man of good moral character and breeding and in 10 to 30 minutes accepts a marriage proposal and it's all said and done. Yet neither is the case - and they've had their struggles with that. Some in part was my "fault."
Dr. A (My Mr. Big) was the first man I brought home in any respect - he was 15 years my senior and we weren't formally dating. My parents didn't quite know what to do with themselves. Thankfully for them he skipped town with a coworker.* After that it was CEF who was thrown at them more or less - a hey so I'm getting married, here is my fiance and that's the end of that. Well that policy was stupid, flawed and in the end caused so much strife that it was the final straw in my parent's marriage - August 08 was fun times all around our home.
So... after months and months of therapy etc - see previous posts for all the therapy reasons - my DrBrain says you need to start dating. WHAT?!! I don't date. I do the Disney princess and fall into a perfect relationship. Apparently that is not how things work. So I started with OM. My PU didn't know about OM, and why did he need to - OM was a bust**. Then came AB and simultaneously BV and then AL, BB. AB in the end was the only one he ever knew about. ***
So what is the point in this sharing moment. Well my PU doesn't know how to deal with the knowledge their were others, other than AB AND that there will be more in the future and I have FB and Dr. C to thank for all this. No Dr. C and I are not or ever have discussed that topic of dating - but the presence of a man has left my dad scratching his head. I guess to him I'm his little girl and little girls don't talk to boys.
Note:
*I hold no malice to either - they are perfect for each other, though for their reputations/friendships sake they could have done it differently if they had wanted to.
** PU knows now, stupid FB, I had at the long discussion about the Olympics had to spill how OM and I knew each other
*** He has never met AB oddly enough
*** He has never met AB oddly enough
I'm way confused but kinda sounds like we have the same dating problems lol I think mine contains just as much of the alphabet lol
ReplyDeleteSorry about the complicated-ness of it all - basically it boils down to I didn't date as a teenager and now that I am "marrying" age and want to keep my dating life from my parents because I can it causes all sorts of drama because he doesn't understand what is going on
ReplyDeletereading your post kinda felt like what i feel when i read algebra, luckily none of them have long nicknames like mine :)
ReplyDeleteI know it was a little confusing - I have thought about editting this one and making it simplier but since I have a flight home early in the morning it ain't happening.
ReplyDelete