Ever have a moment where you realized something, and you aren't prepared to face that decision, yet in reality it's a decision you've been somehow denying for the last few days, weeks or months.I just had that moment, in one of the most inconvenient places, not completely inconvenient because I have a computer in front of me. A blog isn't the place to go into depth with the decision I made. I have to say as much as I will always believe there was something right in the decision I made, somewhere in all my belief that it wasn't tragic, it didn't seem tragic at the moment, it was. It was not the right decision to make. Why? Um hell don't even know where to start with that one, mostly it was a dumb decision with respect to my heart, though it doesn't seem to be getting much in the way of honesty and respect these days. I was working on our AR accounts and listening to LA, and well let's just say it hit me, it was tapping me on the shoulder yesterday in church but in this moment it hit me. I made a decision based on a false belief in my heart, and the pain of the moment when I first heard this song came back to me. That chasm just split, and I remember. And now looking back at all the ground that is covered knowing that regardless of all that has happened in the last month AB and I are still frozen emotionally in that moment - that moment where we ended up on other side of the emotional/relational Grand Canon. Oh hell.
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