Research

So while I've had technically second dates with everyone on the S&P roll, minus NN because that wasn't a date* and OM because that was purely a babymomma interview... I've somehow managed to endear myself despite supposedly breaking just about every freaking rule/advice recommend, however I have to say that it made sense... sure it was common sense in many ways, but it also highlighted things I would never have considered like the following - now whether I am going to change is another issue, the book recommends:

1. No thank-you texts/email, ie. I had a great time tonight... apparently that is overkill, either you voice that when the date is over, or no, no fishing for another contact, the implication being every email or text in polite society should be returned/acknowledged, and if he doesn't want to, you are trapping him in the whole being rude/shitty person bubble if he doesn't want to talk to you again... something like that

2. Keep ALL issues to yourself - from I don't drink dairy because I'm lactose intolerant, to whether you are a vegetarian/vegan (I guess you covertly order...?) to chronic illness, despite being healthy, like Crohn's, Diabetes etc, or even relational issues, like my mom had cancer to the bigger ones like I have kids, I'm divorced, I had a CEF etc... sure some of those are really good things to leave off the table and others... well...

3. Understand that you (women) first date for personality (sure looks are in there a little) and second for looks and all that - once it's accessed that they are normal, and men do the opposite, first date for looks and then second date for personality/spark/chemistry sake

Of course the entire book isn't just about us, it's about them too - one of the biggest ones, is making a comment on a woman's looks, I have to say, that while granted I am definitely hyper-sensitive about this, the minute I hear someone say you're hot (it's happened twice surprisingly) it makes my skin crawl, it reminds me that I am being assessed on how I look, sure I know it's happening I guess I just don't need to be reminded that you are glaring at my chest, or scanning my ass when I walk... Comment on a specific thing - I like your: earrings, the dress, shoes (!), your fragrance it/they are ______. Simple for example: I like your dress, the color is unique. Yes okay that's a shitty sentence, but hell, it isn't a killer, if she loves the dress she'll tell you she got it at some quirky shop etc...