But then again that's not why they are on a dating site, because who cares why I'm there. They do not see it as a dating site, a site to find a partner for life, not truly, no they're shopping for a NLLL uterus. This uterus shopping business always brings up in me a combination of blood boiling mad and pity for them. I feel like sitting down these dear 50 something year old men and asking what they think we have in common. I am not looking for a daddy, sugar or otherwise, I have a father. While I might be wrong, I still consider myself young and because I still consider myself young I still see myself travelling, moving places like NYC to finish my schooling and or do specialized training or Portland and settle down in an eclectic neighbourhood, pursue the art of feeding and loving people. I do not see myself fitting into someone's manufactured, cookie cutter void and getting on with the life they want. Maybe I'm ageist. I find that slightly ironic given my education in gerontology. But I think there is a difference between wanting to help all people including their families embrace aging and marrying someone smack in the middle of that process.
Sorry I'm venting but this whole process is creeping me out a lot. Maybe because for the last 5 years I have deliberately changed myself to be one a more private person on the Internet. WHAT? Contradiction. One this is anonymous, two this has very little connection to the flesh and blood person I am, in that while I am wholly honest, I'm also as much as possible deliberately vague, and now I'm on a dating site with a little generic blurb about myself and pictures and I feel like a piece of meat and it is well, violating. I didn't think I would feel violated but I do, oddly. Hmmm. We're going to have to come back to that issue.
Oh man, don't even get me started on the fifty something year old men who keep messaging me! (I finally changed it so you can't message me over a certain age because, really....)
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