Saturday, February 19, 2011

I Also Fail At Change

But...and this is a big BUT, I do better with change if it is a repeated change.  But I guess that means it isn't really a change, or does it?

BR moved out yesterday - the house is empty.  Back in 2009 when AR moved out this reality scared me shitless.  Yes as an adult woman I was having a mental breakdown over living alone.  I couldn't do it - I had nightmares, I slept with the lights on in the house, with the radio on, checking the doors multiple times in the night.  It was also the time AB and I were in effect not pseudo dating - we weren't dating at all, but he was the one I knew would be up at 2am if I had a rough night.  Well that lead to him being requested to spend his nights at chez moi and all hell broke lose and well that is true and it's not - and that is a whole blog in itself.  Which reminds me - I should discuss that at some point.  My rational behind that whole shmazzle

This week as been a week of change - sans hair I have grown to love - my Dita-ness is gone.  I have been reminded to send in my tuition deposit to school and apply for student loans and now I have a BR-less home.  It is weird.  It is cold.  It is sort of haunting - her stuff is in a lot of places.  Not that I really mind.   If I stop and think about it - I'm a student and I was just gifted a toaster - which needs to be GF'd, a coffee machine, towels and a few other things.  Sweet!  The new roommate is moving in at the end of the month... right now I am just trying to enjoy the space, silence and the ability to walk around the house in whatever I want (L you were a bad influence on me)...

Back to the school thing my pastor/mentor/friend has suggested that school is going to be a good thing for me - more change - change, change, change.  That it will encourage me to move forward in life and my understanding of myself, God and all that...  I guess I need to get on embracing that as there is a big reading list before I start... 

So on the note of change - BRING ON SPRING!

2 comments:

  1. Change is good, embrace it.

    Words said to me on a regular basis by Mighty McMullen... and every time I'd love nothing more than to smack her. But... she's right. Every time. Change is good! If you can't beat it, join it, make it your own and own that shit.

    Enjoy the time alone, bathing with the door open, walking around half dressed, hogging the tv when you have time, blast music and dance with reckless abandonment. :)

    XO

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  2. What I would give to have an apartment all to myself! Quite jealous of you at the moment. Enjoy the quiet times. And the change!

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