I Also Fail At Change

But...and this is a big BUT, I do better with change if it is a repeated change.  But I guess that means it isn't really a change, or does it?

BR moved out yesterday - the house is empty.  Back in 2009 when AR moved out this reality scared me shitless.  Yes as an adult woman I was having a mental breakdown over living alone.  I couldn't do it - I had nightmares, I slept with the lights on in the house, with the radio on, checking the doors multiple times in the night.  It was also the time AB and I were in effect not pseudo dating - we weren't dating at all, but he was the one I knew would be up at 2am if I had a rough night.  Well that lead to him being requested to spend his nights at chez moi and all hell broke lose and well that is true and it's not - and that is a whole blog in itself.  Which reminds me - I should discuss that at some point.  My rational behind that whole shmazzle

This week as been a week of change - sans hair I have grown to love - my Dita-ness is gone.  I have been reminded to send in my tuition deposit to school and apply for student loans and now I have a BR-less home.  It is weird.  It is cold.  It is sort of haunting - her stuff is in a lot of places.  Not that I really mind.   If I stop and think about it - I'm a student and I was just gifted a toaster - which needs to be GF'd, a coffee machine, towels and a few other things.  Sweet!  The new roommate is moving in at the end of the month... right now I am just trying to enjoy the space, silence and the ability to walk around the house in whatever I want (L you were a bad influence on me)...

Back to the school thing my pastor/mentor/friend has suggested that school is going to be a good thing for me - more change - change, change, change.  That it will encourage me to move forward in life and my understanding of myself, God and all that...  I guess I need to get on embracing that as there is a big reading list before I start... 

So on the note of change - BRING ON SPRING!