MW and friend just left the house after a lovely evening of talking and food consumption. It was all great and quite frankly deeply platonic. I have been racking my brain for why I feel jealous, why I feel I need him.
I settled on it with the roommate, it comes down to no boundaries. I do not want to nor can I hedge him in, I cannot even remotely expect another visit and nor do I feel comfortable asking how many women he's kissed in the last few months. I would like to for the moment believe I'm special. I mean I know I am but something about Sunday has made me feel less special rather than more special.
Well I'm going to mourn that a little and move on. Sure there are things about him that make me realize that I feel the same about him as I have all these years and yet as I remember a conversation we had almost 5 years ago, I know that what things look like with MW are not as they are.
But in the end it is all too late to consider anything beyond my bed.
I get teamed in from a good kiss once in awhile. Us he that good or was that all for me?
ReplyDeleteI know that we all need a good kiss once and a while (see the movie "That Thing You Do") but at the same time it seems to add all these questions when it isn't just a part of the relationship - was it good for him, is he going to call and the brain goes down the insecurity rabbit hole.
ReplyDeleteTeamed s/b Reeled**
ReplyDelete