Squishy

Somewhere in the last year I went soft in more ways than one. I used to be smaller, a lot, and now I'm a living example of why a vegan diet is a beautiful thing. And so now the long crawl back to those jeans still tucked away in the bottom drawer. I know that it isn't all bad. I've said if all I had to lose or in the end gain was a few extra pounds in all the NLLL that went down in regards to CEF that is all is still for the best. Really I could have gained a CH (Crazy Husband) and then the lovely title of divorcee or something like that... because let's be honest, it would have gone down that way somehow, someway. I don't know how, when I look back at it all that things went as far as they did... anyways. Back to the grind, so I don't cringe a little internally every time AB touches me.

Music for the fun that will be had, toxic and fluffy:

Photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/fre_natae/3209332438/

Oh Why, Oh Why

Why does OM cause me to have verbal diarrhea? Really folks, why and even worse I'm all chirpy and flirty when I email him. I had that realization this morning - who the hell sends those emails because last time I checked I don't do that, or do I? Sure maybe I am one to drop post ironic, outdated phrases, but all like he, he and giggle giggle like responses? I've officially lost myself, the old self to the real girly girl within or something like that or not. I'm not sure. How does it work to be all excited, and yet terrified and well excited again to have a friend date tomorrow? Sure I can say that the bubbly balloon will either collapse in on it's exhausted self tomorrow morning, or burst when we don't have a witty banter or maybe it will just stay like it is now, comfortable, fun and yet wholly disconcerting that I can't seem to close my mouth. That I can't find a way to not smile and be happy that well this day is fast approaching... I don't know folks but I think I need to be committed, sedated and then one day when the baristas weeping my fate die, be kissed by a self assured geek on a vintage bike and we ride of into the sunrise or something like that.

To add a little sugar to your Friday - all my loves - 80's music, ballet and cute sappiness


Oh help me, return me to bitter singledom please, life was less embarassing and unassured there: