Fatigue

I'm exhausted. I am trying to desperately cope with this situation and it has had so many good moments, great moments of friends but my body is not supporting this process. I still cannot sleep - I lay awake praying for peace and wake sick to my stomach about the situation. I am struggling to eat, tonight's dinner was supposed to be pasta but unfortunately that didn't stay down and was replaced with two pieces of toast, later two cookies milk and now some cheese puffs. Yep the dinner of running champions.

I have decided against contacting any of his friends to apologize for getting them involved to whatever degree they are - frankly I'm horrified by his behaviour but again it is his behaviour and I've been told that my reaching out to his friends as I did was not psycho ex-girlfriend behaviour. And beyond that, I don't have anything. Yes I've considered mis-filing his thesis in our library and all sorts of other things, but at the same time it is not fucking worth it.

It all isn't worth it. Life is worth it. Love is worth it. This drama, totally not.

I'm going to peace out for a while unless drama gets even weirder at which time CEF will be unseeded for the most broken, bat shit crazy addicted to being a victim ex I have had and that my beloveds is saying A LOT, but in all this I promise no long breaks again. I found this song as part of a hunt for a good I've been dumped music mix and this is one of the more accurate of the songs.