Maybe I have been spending too much time in the books, specifically my counselling literature but I have found myself being relational perplexed by two men on campus. One I could say borderline attracted to but mostly out of fascination and respect and the other well primarily because there is still a perverse teenager in my brain who thinks toying with the grumpy evil cousin of Eeyore (aka the Douche) could be fun.
So the first candidate, I think for the record would be far better suited for KAB's mental capacities, since her's definitely exceeds mine - he's too smart. The more I see below the douchey-ness that comes off when one is as smart as he I am intrigued. But at the end of the day he is a man far far beyond my intellectual strengths and while I doubt he would be an a-hole about it like some others of his intellectual ability. I have come to the realization that while I want a man to challenge me, I need to know the limitations to that challenge. So again KAB, he might be a good fit for but me, nope that's a gulf to wide to leap.
As for the Douche - I have said it before and I will say it again, he fascinates me but in that horrible perverse, he's a puzzle and I want to know what makes him tick. This is not a foundation to even the most dysfunctional relationship. And fear not since you're likely wondering why he's been mentioned so much, his sour demeanour never mind his oft questionable fashion choices mean he's definitely not a candidate.
Beyond that dating has gone all sorts of sour and I think despite in many ways not being okay with the idea, I am okay with where I am right now and that is good enough.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Saturday, September 15, 2012
The Week That Was...
So my first "real" week of graduate school has passed and I have little to show for it other than the insane mountain of homework I seriously need to get to... but since that is not the point of this week I feel like I should up date you on all the bizarre, quirky and lovely things that are my life.
In the awesome camp - I went to the aquarium yesterday for like the first time in a decade or longer and it was fun, to be honest I probably got more out of it than the cute little one I was with.
Beyond that it quickly dissolves in to the realities of life...
First class with in the first 5 minutes my prof (who I do have a soft spot for) makes a crack about this is the one class noted for getting everyone matched up and married off... there are groans and heads turning - it's the regulars for the most part so we know that doesn't offer and prospects. BUT of course the douche is behind me and makes a crack about all those who looked around being interested.
Yes, sir, I think even the most apathetic about dating at the moment, like myself, had a look around not necessarily for myself because that's dead and gone but to see who is in the class, and who might be some of the pairings. HSBFF has suggested that he either needs to get laid (which is not really an option for any of us non-married folks) or I should date him, maybe I could cheer him up. Okay, he's like a mean Eeyore - there is no amount of caffeinated rainbow sunshine coming from me that is going to change that. Though don't think my definitely not better nature thought I could flirt with him to spite him. Problem is the rest of the campus will be witness to that and I am sure many then would be questioning my mental health.
On the discussion of my mental health, this week during one of my other classes the professor asked us to give one thing that will make us memorable to our classmates. I picked my birth town which is unique amongst these parts instead of the other two options in my head - 1. permanently attached to caffeine and 2. PINK which really should be heard in your mind as the following @1:25:
Back to the issue of men - BelgiumBoy while sweet and awesome for someone else but I know he's not the right one for me and I have no sadness with acknowledging that. RB feels clingy to me which either means I liked him longer than I was willing to admit and this was our "normal" relationship which we've apparently returned to because I feel we are together more than I feel is normal, or he's actually clingy, which honestly I REALLY hope is not the case. That ship has sailed far far away from that dock.
In the awesome camp - I went to the aquarium yesterday for like the first time in a decade or longer and it was fun, to be honest I probably got more out of it than the cute little one I was with.
Beyond that it quickly dissolves in to the realities of life...
First class with in the first 5 minutes my prof (who I do have a soft spot for) makes a crack about this is the one class noted for getting everyone matched up and married off... there are groans and heads turning - it's the regulars for the most part so we know that doesn't offer and prospects. BUT of course the douche is behind me and makes a crack about all those who looked around being interested.
Yes, sir, I think even the most apathetic about dating at the moment, like myself, had a look around not necessarily for myself because that's dead and gone but to see who is in the class, and who might be some of the pairings. HSBFF has suggested that he either needs to get laid (which is not really an option for any of us non-married folks) or I should date him, maybe I could cheer him up. Okay, he's like a mean Eeyore - there is no amount of caffeinated rainbow sunshine coming from me that is going to change that. Though don't think my definitely not better nature thought I could flirt with him to spite him. Problem is the rest of the campus will be witness to that and I am sure many then would be questioning my mental health.
On the discussion of my mental health, this week during one of my other classes the professor asked us to give one thing that will make us memorable to our classmates. I picked my birth town which is unique amongst these parts instead of the other two options in my head - 1. permanently attached to caffeine and 2. PINK which really should be heard in your mind as the following @1:25:
Back to the issue of men - BelgiumBoy while sweet and awesome for someone else but I know he's not the right one for me and I have no sadness with acknowledging that. RB feels clingy to me which either means I liked him longer than I was willing to admit and this was our "normal" relationship which we've apparently returned to because I feel we are together more than I feel is normal, or he's actually clingy, which honestly I REALLY hope is not the case. That ship has sailed far far away from that dock.
Sunday, September 02, 2012
Pride or Practicality?
I would like to think that I am not prideful, but let's be serious I'm as prideful as I am vain - which is a lot at times, though I would love to think that both my extreme occasional vanity and my prideful moments are well, practical too.
My vanity aside for the moment - we need to discuss my pride. Now I relinquished it momentarily this summer to let RB know I liked him during a delusional moment brought on by too much library dust. But fear not I have quickly reclaimed it, such that I when faced with the man of the all the set up antics today, I felt that I almost by necessity had to ignore him. I could not bring myself to acknowledge him primarily because a part of me was so damn furious. There across from me sat an attractive man in his 30's and he can hold a conversation of relative intelligence but is also such a bloody tool. It is not okay that he did not respond. Sure I'm not going to go all boil his cat crazy and give him a piece of my mind but I could not bring myself to do anything that might be construed as flirting. Was this prideful, sure but I'm of the opinion if you put the toy down after examining it and finding it wanton you don't pick it up again, regardless of whether anyone is watching.
On a slightly different note but also boy related, Belgium Boy is back in town for the year, which I have to say makes me happier than I think it should but at the same time, I have no desire to have to break my own heart if anything were to happen, we're on two different life tracks. So I will be a good girl, no flirting where you don't want a response.
So on the note of pride:
My vanity aside for the moment - we need to discuss my pride. Now I relinquished it momentarily this summer to let RB know I liked him during a delusional moment brought on by too much library dust. But fear not I have quickly reclaimed it, such that I when faced with the man of the all the set up antics today, I felt that I almost by necessity had to ignore him. I could not bring myself to acknowledge him primarily because a part of me was so damn furious. There across from me sat an attractive man in his 30's and he can hold a conversation of relative intelligence but is also such a bloody tool. It is not okay that he did not respond. Sure I'm not going to go all boil his cat crazy and give him a piece of my mind but I could not bring myself to do anything that might be construed as flirting. Was this prideful, sure but I'm of the opinion if you put the toy down after examining it and finding it wanton you don't pick it up again, regardless of whether anyone is watching.
On a slightly different note but also boy related, Belgium Boy is back in town for the year, which I have to say makes me happier than I think it should but at the same time, I have no desire to have to break my own heart if anything were to happen, we're on two different life tracks. So I will be a good girl, no flirting where you don't want a response.
So on the note of pride:
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