Vote Time!

I am leaving it to a vote, or a poll or something of the sort. Ms. J and CW vote that AB needs his ass kicked to the curb until he's good and ready to play fair or something like that - Ms. J specific request was come back when he's ready to love/date you - hmm so Paris Hilton is going to be free of all venereal diseases before that happens, so hmmm. CW leans more towards the HSBBF side of things that involves a physical ass kicking of some fashion and a blocking/removal of him from every aspect so you get to vote

1. Status Quo
2. No more events together - movie night, games night, visit to the Taxidermy exhibit...
3. 2 with the removal of all text message communication
4. 2+3+ block on Facebook for X amount of time
5. 2+3+4+ have an Eternal Sunshine moment...

A Lesson for the Young Ones and My Future Self

Don't give your heart to a boy who can't commit. Don't give one ounce of yourself beyond that moment where those words come out. Like that moment where you stood in the dying moments of summer, where you felt that chasm grow within you and the desperation that squeezed that wound shut with the ferocity you've never known. Don't stay to watch the leaves turn and fall from the trees, don't wait for the seasons to change in the hopes that the cold outside will somehow make him want to warm his heart with your care/love. Don't find yourself standing in the rain at odd hours waiting just to see him, to hug him, to be there and feel your heart race, for the world to back go back to the way you want it for just a moment, the rotational momentum of the world is stronger than anything he makes you feel.

He might say he misses you, he will make you think he does really care about you, really genuinely feel the same way. He might, but he doesn't really until that moment when he grabs your hand in public, when you aren't just the friend with every benefit but those words. Those words somewhere in all the feelings and moments come to amount to so much more. Don't give your heart without those words, even if you are aware that hearts are messy, lives are messy. If you do, you'll have this moment to look back on, you'll remember the want you feel towards AB. May it serve as a reminder.

Photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/orangeacid/173503843/

How to Update Y'all...

I've been pondering over it for a while and since I haven't had access to a computer during the moments when I've really wanted to blog, thus things have been mushed together, and now folks is the grand moment I search for the string to unravel the mess.

It maybe no surprise to some, but AB and I have slipped into what Ms. J calls a "platonic dating relationship.*" AB indicated earlier this week that he enjoyed our talks, then last night we got into a discussion about letting things come to fruition in relationships or just spitting them out there and letting the pieces fall where they may. He indicated while he's normally an all out there kind of person when it comes to matters of the heart, he still waits to make sure the other person's heart is there too - well I'll give him some slack even though that doesn't sound quite right. Through this week's conversations I've decided to relinquish the little bit of control I was holding on to in regards to being cautious with the situation. If it happens, if this is a step towards something then it will eventually happen, if not, I've still got a good friend, though at this stage in life, good opposite gender friends aren't what I'm going for.

Platonic dating (n/v): weekly movie night, daily text message conversations, calls, exchanging of baking, waiting for bus at 12am, checking in/up on the person - ie. how's your day, whatcha doing, texting goodnight routinely, hugs etc.

Photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/16954303@N08/1909471525/