Well I Was Wrong

I am so smily

I am so thankful that I went on that first date

And I know that confuses everyone and hell it still confuses me

For all the reasons I can list and at the same time, I'm not confused.*

So while I try to unpack my brain here are some thoughts - so Sunday he texted me after I had tried so hard not to be the daily text-er (I've had a bit of a challenge getting off the texting habits X and I developed) so last night when he asked if I was actually going to go to bed early or if I might be free I jumped at the invitation since I hadn't seen him in a week. We ended up watching a movie at his place since I was unable to seduce him with the idea of huddling over my laptop at my place. Whatever the case was at least we were without the uncomfortable chaperone armrest from the movie theatre and then when it was over, well, I'm a lady or I try to be and so I'm going to coy in suggesting that I'm not telling because there was something or a prolonged something to tell.

Pfft who am I kidding, as I told Ms J we made out like horny church kids, when actually we were a little more appropriate than that because anyone who is a youth worker knows that horny church kids are 90% likely to be popping out surprise babies the way they "make out." So this might prove problematic for him and I as I am not permitted regardless of how I may feel about relations (and I am not suggesting he and I are there yet) to go that far. So we might need to find more group activities. But not quite yet I'm enjoying this, so everyone deal with it.

So no problems now with him touching me...

I stumbled into my door at midnight and I've been trying to unpack things and by the way I may be truly mainlining the coffee this week - SO TIRED now but SO GOOD

*Also known as I've lost my mind

I May Never Recover

Last night came together in ways that well I guess were organic, and since we'll I'm one of those yuppie, hippie, postish gen x'ers we are safe to say I'm more than okay with organic.

J has a shiteous day at work and well I knew a little liquid courage wasn't going to do me any harm before I had to drop off the goodies. So we drank, discussed J's target DB and yes AB whom J has yet to meet and may be meeting sometime soon. After which I skedaddled over to AB house to drop off the cookies and then intended to go home and do the dishes, clean the house from the whirlwind of me running through it all, and so on and so forth... but that didn't happen, I got the tour of the place and then proceed to join AB and a gaggle of ladies which became other and then shifted in size down to just 4 of us for a long, oh very long walk, to the point where I was wondering if the buses were still running and AR called to make sure I was still alive... we talked, dished personal shit, and discussed the fringes of the whole CEF drama... (and no I did not bring it up - the conversation seemed to just get there via the others in the group's discussion of ended engagements - as J says it makes me sound mysterious - for me it makes me feel like a Charlotte, die hard romantic brainless fool...) it was nice and deja vu BI style. We've arranged other meetings and in the end it just seems like an organically developing friendship, and beyond that? We'll leave it where it is right now, it works for me, thank you.