In Defense of Twilight

Preface: Of the limited facts I disclose about myself I will say this I have a BA English. I believe that literature is like food, there is good food full of complex flavors, the kind that is served at Craft, there is the food that sustained you through your life to this point (in theory staples vegetables, starches and proteins) and then there is what I eat every 28 days or so - a bag of baked Kettle Chips and a bottle of Diet Dr Pepper. Twilight is the literary equivalent of the chips and pop. It is good for a moment, it does its duty. However, it is not the complexity of Rushdie or Woolf nor is it the sustaining foundation of Chaucer or Shakespeare. *Deep Sigh*

For men - you don't need to understand Twilight, that is sort of the point that you wouldn't. You wouldn't be expected to read any "chick-lit" and understand it, let alone enjoy it. It's okay you have already been absolved of any involvement in it. However I understand that you want to know what the fascination/attraction is. Vampires. Simple as that, at the heart of every straight laced daughter, girlfriend, mother, wife is a little mini daredevil who wants that crazy kind of love that has danger that they never bat an eye at. This is "clean" danger - no drugs, no alcohol, no laws broken and no one will fault you for it - it's the best of both worlds.

On the subject of vampires I must say that maybe due to my age or just his more "bad" nature Spike from Buffy is still the best... I digress. It's not just about vampires though because as our current run on vampire theme programs shows vampires come in all different sexual fantasy formats...
So why the whole Edward and Bella, Bella and Jacob and Bella and Edward again saga, well it's simple:

1. Desire -Every woman of sane mind wants to be wanted by someone they want to be wanted by. Ie. we are discriminate to a point - may my high school grad date be an example - when you're the last one they've asked and you can't remember talking to them at that point - they are not in that previously noted category - AB would be... Bella gets this with Edward and then with Jacob to some respect.

2. Heartbreak - Good old fashion heart ripped from its sockets being left with a hole to be soaked and preserved with tequila, brined with tears and stuffed full of Black Cherry ice cream. If you are too young to have one it's glamorous, if you've put enough miles on your heart it somehow makes you feel like a veteran comparing battle wounds.

3. Lust - I think we've started to crack this one - but here's the deal as part of 1 - Bella has the "hots" for Edward, Jacob has them for Bella and I am sure if Edward had a soul he would for Bella... but here's the important part. Most women due to some wiring get more "frisky" shall we say when there is all the other emotions involved - like love, trust, security etc. The whole book is written like this - Edward and Bella fall in love in the perfect fairytale format, deep, trusting, transparent and slightly gritty. And it's repeated in the friendship turned other format with Jacob. Both formats have the female readers engrossed and then all lusty for whichever character is involved.

4. Danger - as mentioned above - loving the boy who is no good for you - it's a disease - some of us kick it, some of us don't...

5. Disney - for the love of fish sticks when you were 4, every woman who has read these books has been brainwashed by Disney, we all somewhere flick the switch when reading the books that say it will happen, it will be beautiful and easy and he'll devote himself eternally to me.... yadda yadda, cue the Prince from the Little Mermaid and me frolicking in the sea...

As to the movies, well the movies are trashy - they are actually quite horrible in that Jacob is jail bait for the large majority of the audience and yet when he takes of his shirt in New Moon the sounds of the cat calls and whistles was oddly humorous... anyways. Men fear not you need not like, love or even accept the books just don't tell Ms. J that I believe Edward sheds sparkles, and as long as everyone remains Team Spike/Buffy we'll all be good...

Case of the Giggles...

CW is giving me a case of the giggles discussing Edward and her own Edward if you would like to call him that, I know he would have no objections to such a term. He's going as such at Halloween much to his own risk I am sure... Twilight, Twihards and all those peoples I have to say that you were dissected by me for X who looked kind of frightened by the whole sparkly vampire thing and the OCD kind of mindset that comes from reading the book - the whole stay in your stinky pajamas...

Other funny convo fragments:

He wants me to put sparkles on him
You know that you're putting him at risk of bodily harm
It's fine the sparkles would just be on his head, besides everything below his head is all mine
You just want to bring that angry Gemini side out don't you
*Snicker*
Just be ready, really ready

He says he wants to live like the 50's, why doesn't he do it and marry me?
What and have a loveless marriage?
No no no, you know what I mean
Sorry read too many of those feminist books.

You know you can sit
No I'm fine
Sorry I like to sit, and now I feel lazy - You know you can file from your chair, just lower the seat...

So what are you two, did you sleep alone?
What do you mean?
Did you have the talk?
Not really, he FB'd me
So
So...
*Rolls eyes*
Don't start with me, because I don't know where to start with him

He wants to give me a promise ring
What a ring that says I'll consider being committed to you
Ya one of those, *rolls eyes*
*Inserts finger in mouth*...

I don't like the diagnosis doc...

I have Bella-itis as Ms. J calls it. I would love it to be something else but apparently I’m still suffering from a NLLL broken heart. I don’t want to be. Maybe I’m just mad, maybe I’m just not dealing with being still sick, when all I want to do is run, speed up the axis of the Earth with my movements and fast forward us out of this forsaken mess. Fast forward myself to someone else’s: arms or couch or something, and yet I don’t. I don’t want the white horse and all that and never have – sure I want love. I want that kind of love, we all want it, let’s be honest, we all want that kind of love that grows that becomes the foundation for everything in ourselves, in our lives, grows and through all the ugliness that abounds around us, is something so much greater than us.

Yet AB and I are at the huge ugly impasse that happens when this happens. When you yell stop, stop the carousel, stop whatever this is, I want off, I really want off, no turning back, get me the hell out of here. AB hopped off, granted I don’t think we can say for sure he was ever genuinely on now, and so now I’ve stumbled off, asked for silence, and tried to walk away. I missed AB too much; I will confess I didn’t even last a week. I know that given how I still feel about BI in some respects, AB has been given a hallowed spot in my heart for better or worse. Sure it will likely be overshadowed someday, maybe or maybe not. And now all I really want to do is throw rocks at Bella and her refusal of Jake, but let’s be honest I’ve been playing every freaking role in those forsaken books: perpetually depressed Bella, lovingly persistent Jake, and tortured Edward who walked away thinking it would all be for better. Now of course the book all comes together – Edward and Bella live happily ever after and Jake gets his soul mate. And me, I get a smack upside the head for referencing a teenage book to my life, and silence. The reality is AB is likely going to do as BI did and walk away quickly, find someone soon and I will out of respect, honor the silence, their relationship and the paths we all have been given/choose. I am trying to make peace with that, that life won’t be like it was, peace with the awareness you don’t get to say what was said, do what was done, regardless of how you feel about it, and think you get to throw the lid back on Pandora’s relationship box. Hearts, lives, all of it gets ugly, and it just becomes a mess beyond time’s repair. In time AB’s heart will heal in regards to her and in time so will mine in regards to AB, but that does not mean that time will heal the friendship, regardless of what I may wish. In the end maybe it all is a beautiful disaster. Or maybe somewhere in the hope left in all this, things come together and fall apart in other ways.

Photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/23065375@N05/2234743247/