So maybe that's why this whole thing has shaken me - maybe it's because if I'm honest, I'm beyond scared of the idea of committing and having babies - more of making the wrong decision.
Hell I didn't really dodge the bullet with CEF, I just managed to get out of it without major injuries.
Each day I try to step closer to the idea of dating someone I realize just how deep those wounds were and how insecure I am with all this - I would love to say I've got my NLLL together. The fact that I don't know what is going on Friday (other than the theatre) - yes no messages since Sunday and no texts and that I'm letting him do some wooing or all my life choices aren't pressing in on me but they are.
So what do I do - well I tell you about them, so I can laugh about the awkward first date bullet dodged of the handshake, hug or kiss dynamic and so I can share my crazy and then I listen to this which is the antithesis of who I'd ever want to be in this dating dynamic but somehow listening to this makes me feel a little better about everything.
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