Risk

I think I'm struggling right now with risk or maybe more so vulnerability. I haven't since OM and BV been on a date with a man who didn't know about CEF and all the NLLL that went down with that, and now I find myself with LG.

And I think I really like LG, frankly I'm still damn confused, but I want to be with him, so I think that's a good sign about things in that direction. But at the same time I'm nervous. I'm incredibly nervous because genuinely liking someone requires that you be vulnerable, and not in a one shot in a paper or in a class discussion vulnerable. No a slow aching vulnerability where you often have to put words to feelings you don't know how to say or ever want to have to say but because you're still figuring out the dance, you aren't sure. Like I want to kiss LG and I'm not sure if that's too soon or if because of the whole he leads things business, which I'm actually getting used to the whole door opening thing for the car, I don't want to be presumptuous and take charge but I really want to. So I'm doing my own dumb dance of sorts.

UGH.

So yes Brene Brown may be talking to me about this whole it's okay to be vulnerable and he might not really like that person but that's okay because I like me and that's what is really important.

But ya.

So there you go.