And So It Went Down...

Against my normal policy of keeping explicitly grounded in real life, aka as things that cannot be blurred off the blog, I am going to post the FB discussion.

I will preface this as an example where I should have a tired-alyzer along with a breathalyzer for my laptop because 11pm is not the time I should be writing messages as I am likely not to filter myself when I really, really should because re-reading this all I can think is I sound like this:

D,

I would like to be able to resolve something that has been bothering me, now I might be interpreting things wrong, but I feel as though I have at some point done something to upset you because despite my best efforts to be intentionally cordial I keep receiving feedback that appears to be annoyance and at times disdain. Please let me know if I have done something so that I may be able to address it, if I'm just interpreting things incorrectly you can just ignore this and I will do my best to adjust.

 S&P

Hi S&P,

Thanks for making me aware of this. I'm sorry that somehow I've conveyed to you a sense of annoyance and disdain. Those are heavy words! I assure you, there is no such sentiment on my register towards you! As a rule for myself, I would rather talk about these kinds of issues in person. I looked for you around campus today, but must have missed you. Will you be on the retreat this weekend? I would much rather assure verbally than via FB.

 Best, D

The conversation settled on us meeting for coffee this morning at 9am which was totally ironic because as X will tell you I can be a raving b*tch without caffeine. I arrived without coffee or even food in my system because of course I wanted to up-chuck, I hate conflict, especially conflict with a guy.

We arrived at the same time and had shockingly probably the most light but personal conversation we have ever had, involving the realization that I've been intuitive but not quite. I have been picking up appropriately on his angst and pissy mood but they were directed at the world and not me and a being super sensitive ISFJ I just happen to be taking it personal.

So where are we at? He's going to still be the Douche and I'm going to try and be friendly while keeping in mind that any time I get his frosty attitude that it isn't personal - so that's sort of a resolution, right? Probably not now I am trying to beat back the part of me that care and wants to help him. I need that like (my head in a whole versus the alternative):

So that's where things are...