Oh I Need a Hole

A deep deep hole to hide in and drink and KAB you're going to want to look away as while the language is censored, it still might make you blush/uncomfortable.

My hormones are screwing with me - my anxiety is through the roof and the whole situation with ODM (Online Dating Man - we'll revise that one later) is flip flopping me through emotional disappointment and fear - it's like one foot tentatively on the gas and a hard slam down on the brakes every so often as the whole online line and the whole I don't know if I can or want to get married thing happens - and yes we are not there yet, but that's the problem with the switch in the wiring of an evangelical brain you cannot just date because they're awesome and you're awesome, no it has to be all about marriage...

Regardless that's really not the big fish I want to fry - I would like to actually fry FB for allowing a blocked person to send me a message, said blocked person CEF.* Yes CEF contacted me and it turns out he's been talking with my brother - NLLLing NLLL you think you make these things clear to your family, friends and to CEF. I changed my number, I changed my email, now I blog, tweet etc only anonymously and the one place where I didn't think I needed to worry about changing my name - I find I am actually not safe.

Was it a horrible message - no, it was actually an apology - didn't need to see it, I really don't NLLL NLLL care.

I need a hole.


*It seems you can get around blocking by setting up multiple profiles... oh FB. So it is never going to be a safe place.