X had a rotten two weeks and hopefully he's in the process of beginning to turn the corner - but while it sucks that it has been rotten, I think it really has affirmed for me that we are good friends - and it is so much easier being his friend than his girlfriend, a lot less guilt.
But as for me, well I have been messaging daily with as of yet unnamed man in the chair, I haven't come up with a jazzy name for him yet and I don't know if I will because as amazing as our conversations have been, so much so to induce an, albeit irrational, meltdown about not being ready to get married. He informed me today that he's moving away. The move makes sense and is good for him, but it also indicates for me, one a deep sense of rootedness and it isn't going to happen. Now you're probably wondering if I was sitting on the fence about him why am I feeling all these mixed emotions. Mostly because he is a rare one in the faith community, completely liberal like me, educated and open, unashamed of any conversation. As I said to Ms. J at worst (like it seems now) he affirmed that the bar I set is completely achievable and I've got no reason to settle for less.
That doesn't really fix the weird hole in my heart I want to stuff with food.
I love it when a MSN comes along and confirms that your standards are obtainable.
ReplyDeleteI love it too and yet it is sad when you start to wonder if there is more than one like them.
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