Wednesday, May 08, 2013

I've been trying

Trying to write

Trying to read

Trying to rest

Trying to figure out how to bring my heart back to me ever so slowly from X. Truthfully I go through seasons where I find myself sitting with the truth that I still deeply love him. I know I'm not in love with him and it would take so many little things, that they all seem like big things to change to bring us back together, that I know it just isn't for us. But there are days when that void in my life, the one that I know doesn't define me, the one that doesn't limit me but that void that some nights and even days I would love to have filled, would be best filled by him.

So I press on, start running again, reading more, sleeping more and know that some day love may circle back, it will probably be different, who knows maybe it will be the same but right now, right now it's about me and learning to love in all the different ways I can.

Love the smell of lilacs that wafts into my room at night from the neighbours yard

Love laughter around my table, time shared with friends

Love the pages of a new book

Love the questions of little lives

Love it all

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