Thursday, June 02, 2011

Rough Spot

I get scared easy - I hear that relationships have rough patches and that you need to move through them, I understand that, I understand it to my core - and yet I feel like I'm staring down the crazy anxious woman I was in 2008 and I am starting to become incredibly scared.

I miss X.  I feel like I'm coming unhinged, I miss him that much and yet I feel like we're emotionally as far apart as we are physically.  I honestly don't know couples did long distance in a world of letters and slow transportation.  All I hear is that I need to let him go, let him do what he needs to do at school/life and if it's meant to be that we'll find ourselves in the better time and space.  I understand that conceptually - I do not however understand that emotionally.  I've become a crying fool at my desk because like the true Gemini I am my heart and my head have decided that WW3 needs to be fought here and now and I'm too damn tired to stop either party.

3 comments:

  1. *hugs* have you talked to X about it yet?
    I'm sorry.

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  2. JS We're trying to figure it out - I don't want to run away because I'm scared - that's stupid. I mean it might be effective for monsters and spiders but you still have to face it all in the end. I just never imagined it would feel this incredibly painful.

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