The Week That Was...

So my first "real" week of graduate school has passed and I have little to show for it other than the insane mountain of homework I seriously need to get to... but since that is not the point of this week I feel like I should up date you on all the bizarre, quirky and lovely things that are my life.

In the awesome camp - I went to the aquarium yesterday for like the first time in a decade or longer and it was fun, to be honest I probably got more out of it than the cute little one I was with.

Beyond that it quickly dissolves in to the realities of life...

First class with in the first 5 minutes my prof (who I do have a soft spot for) makes a crack about this is the one class noted for getting everyone matched up and married off... there are groans and heads turning - it's the regulars for the most part so we know that doesn't offer and prospects.  BUT of course the douche is behind me and makes a crack about all those who looked around being interested.

Yes, sir, I think even the most apathetic about dating at the moment, like myself, had a look around not necessarily for myself because that's dead and gone but to see who is in the class, and who might be some of the pairings.  HSBFF has suggested that he either needs to get laid (which is not really an option for any of us non-married folks) or I should date him, maybe I could cheer him up.  Okay, he's like a mean Eeyore - there is no amount of caffeinated rainbow sunshine coming from me that is going to change that.  Though don't think my definitely not better nature thought I could flirt with him to spite him.  Problem is the rest of the campus will be witness to that and I am sure many then would be questioning my mental health.

On the discussion of my mental health, this week during one of my other classes the professor asked us to give one thing that will make us memorable to our classmates.  I picked my birth town which is unique amongst these parts instead of the other two options in my head - 1. permanently attached to caffeine and 2. PINK which really should be heard in your mind as the following @1:25:



Back to the issue of men - BelgiumBoy while sweet and awesome for someone else but I know he's not the right one for me and I have no sadness with acknowledging that.  RB feels clingy to me which either means I liked him longer than I was willing to admit and this was our "normal" relationship which we've apparently returned to because I feel we are together more than I feel is normal, or he's actually clingy, which honestly I REALLY hope is not the case.  That ship has sailed far far away from that dock.

Pride or Practicality?

I would like to think that I am not prideful, but let's be serious I'm as prideful as I am vain - which is a lot at times, though I would love to think that both my extreme occasional vanity and my prideful moments are well, practical too.

My vanity aside for the moment - we need to discuss my pride.  Now I relinquished it momentarily this summer to let RB know I liked him during a delusional moment brought on by too much library dust.  But fear not I have quickly reclaimed it, such that I when faced with the man of the all the set up antics today, I felt that I almost by necessity had to ignore him.  I could not bring myself to acknowledge him primarily because a part of me was so damn furious.  There across from me sat an attractive man in his 30's and he can hold a conversation of relative intelligence but is also such a bloody tool.  It is not okay that he did not respond.  Sure I'm not going to go all boil his cat crazy and give him a piece of my mind but I could not bring myself to do anything that might be construed as flirting.  Was this prideful, sure but I'm of the opinion if you put the toy down after examining it and finding it wanton you don't pick it up again, regardless of whether anyone is watching.

On a slightly different note but also boy related, Belgium Boy is back in town for the year, which I have to say makes me happier than I think it should but at the same time, I have no desire to have to break my own heart if anything were to happen, we're on two different life tracks.  So I will be a good girl, no flirting where you don't want a response.

So on the note of pride:

The Ones You Do and the Ones you Don't...

So I've shuffled RB off to his corner to sit and think about what he's done and while he's there I am waiting (but not with held breath) for the man that my classmate is trying to set me up with for a date.

So we're all on the page, right?  I have officially declared to the universe or whomever that I am ready to try and get back on this mystery horse that we all need to be on to be dating or whathaveyou.  So the last time that I did this, made the declaration I was ready to get over AB, I had to hide from BB and sluff off a number of other I don't even want to bother shaving my legs for that date suitors.  So in the universe's effort not to disappointment me, it has happened again.

The very morning that I send set-up boy a message on FB to say, Hi, don't freak out, I don't know what has been said, but fear not there are no expectations because from what classmate said he seemed to be actively backpeddling from his interest.  Not that I care, if he doesn't want to go on a date because he lives in the same house as RB I get it.  It is probably some subsection of the bro-code or something, thou shalt not date the woman who liked your housemate but was rejected.  I get it, I am in dating terms rejected product.  I know that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with me (and I know there isn't beyond you know the normal part about us all being NLLL'd in some way or another).  Anyway so I messaged him and the universe sends me a message from an old high school classmate who wants to get together for coffee.  Yes while not a date by defined standards it is CRAZY random and kind of freaked me out in a dude, you and me don't even have enough compatibility for coffee never mind anything else...

As I have said before you dear universe, while I am ready to date, I am also ready to be picky and I will be picky damn it.  I am old enough to be able to set some guidelines and have some, not a lot, but some expectations.

I had another song posted earlier but I've listening to this one and maybe it's the stress but I've been tearing up - I think some of it is trying to also set X truly free and tell my heart she's ready, despite everything and there will be a greater love out there as truly foreign as that might seem at this time.

Well That Is a New Way to Ensure I'll Never Date You

I had a run scheduled with two guys from one of my classes - both are marathoners - both are also children (even worse one is married and a child).  Only one of them had my number and I had neither of their numbers.  So of course I went on time and got to our assigned meeting place in the pouring January rain aka freezing rain... no boys.

It turns out that the one who had my number called - yes he did but he did while I was on the other line with my dad, after I was on the bus down-town - and he didn't leave a message or text me. I'm sorry but if you're going to cancel 15 minutes before the assigned time - you DAMN WELL better leave a NLLL message! So in the end my Dad and I met, ran and all this cancelling business I just found out now.  The boy who had my number is sweet but DUDE you in that one moment just got your ass seriously crossed off the list, like Sharpie over it and then cut it out of the list got taken off.  You do not, I repeat you do not EVER do that.

On the theme of rain -

Oh Really?!

I promised Just Sayin' I would get my ass back into the blogging world - so here I am y'all.  I start school for reals (thus ending the last time I can use that phrase) tomorrow.  But before we get there I would like to address something.

In the months leading up to school I had dozens tell me that school would be equal to a field full of 4 leaf clovers with unicorns frolicking through double rainbows for men.  Basically in a world full of almost substandard men that I would find intelligent, suave, intriguing men - X clones but "so much better."  I wish I could bring all those people to campus with me.  I don't know what they were all sniffing but seriously folks - they're all married and those aren't - well aren't because well natural selection is still in play.  Case in point.  The second day of orientation at coffee break I found myself next to a second year student taking advantage of the free food.  We started to "talk" - I wouldn't call it easy for him, but whatever there were words coming from his mouth.

Dude: What program are you in?
Me: MCS Interdisciplinary
Dude: Oh, so you're in the choose your own program (scoff)
Me: You?
Dude: MDiv (pause) I need to go.

Now I know it is hard to convey his tone.  Yes I am in the flakiest of the programs - I am also in one of the most difficult ones since I have to chart my own course - I have to have a vision of what I want to do from the start and start digging it out on my own because no one in the concentration will have the same end result.  But really that is not the point - I for some bizarre reason thought that in a school with 50/50 gender representation that the men would be more liberal for lack of a better word.  But I guess while there is a world of men looking for their perfect piano playing, long skirt wearing submissive pastor's wife there is a world of men looking for their MDiv counterpart.  Yes dear while I'm bouncing children off my hip we're going to discuss the nuances of Ancient Greek translation.

I was seriously taken aback at the reality that I will not be accepted as an equal as X has done. I guess it's a good thing that I still have all my feminist texts at the ready...

PS I miss X - I really miss him.

Sad or Maybe Secretly Happy

AB and I are still FB friends, so when his relationship status change came up, I being an ex, decided to check out who has officially come after me.  Hmmm... she's his ex-roommate for whom he had nothing good to say about to me, apparently her antics and drama where so outrageous /unbearable that he moved out.  The relationship actually does not at all surprise me.  AB has a thing for these kinds of women,  they came before me, so it is no surprise that they or she would come after. The question more for me is - so was I a moment of sanity or insanity for AB?  Was I the 30's something part of his brain, saying time to man up and get a girl who doesn't lie, cheat, starve because she doesn't have a stable job and parties all the time.  Or what I the experiment with on of those "straight-laced" kind, the rebel relationship equivalent for a  hipster?  Whatever I was, I am smirking, because honey your 30's may be the new 20's, in some respects, but it doesn't mean you should keep repeating the same mistakes.  Good luck AB, not sure whether to hope you don't get an STI or hope you knock her up and it straightens you out, or neither.  Let's go with neither and a splash of possible infection.