So... after much deliberation I loosened my faith requirements, I am going to figure that someone sitting on the outgoing edge of their faith is likely going to veer away from my profile, rather than thinking to themselves, yay let's spend time with the religious girl doing training to be a pastor because I totally know she'll be a great hook up... Dude if for some cockamamie reason you have that idea, please back away from all moving objects, sit down, maybe even lay down and if necessary give your head a shake.
So why? Well the hope is I might be able to find those for whom their faith is important but they know if they say it's important they are going to end up with the faith fanatics. Here is to hoping.
The highlight of my weekend was yesterday's match with an American man (EH is already looking outside the country - that's positive) who is in law enforcement (no dice) AND a self described libertarian, the remainder of the profile made it clear that this young man (also younger, no dice) was looking for her and you know what? Blessings on you too, I'm sure you'll be happy with your coolers and rifles looking at Russia from your mother-in-law's deck and shooting anything that moves.
As for today we're back to me trying to decode Christianese gender role speak that is so bloody foreign to me and all I know that I think I'm kind of up NLLL creek.
"a lady who can be a woman to whom I can be a man to, a wife to be my 'wife' to whom I can be a husband to, someone to take care of and who will take care of me"
Let's break this down shall we and I am going to ignore "wife" as I'm a little too troubled by the quotations there. Okay, so it seems these men have missed the gender is a construct boat by more than a passing glance at the dock. A woman is a woman, not because she wears a full skirt or likes the colour pink. Now it seems he might know this but as Usher has informed us (and that's scientific no?) a lady is really just a woman who looks chaste and quite frankly unless we subscribe to rape culture's belief that how you dress depicts your sexual preferences, every woman is chaste. Hmpf, we're a little lost aren't we? But what I think you're saying is you want in the immortal words of many misogynist men before you that it is about how they look. It doesn't matter if they're a person or that "lady-ness" is a construct, you want that whole construct, you want your little Charlotte and somehow if she has a tone of any self assurance to her, she's emasculating you.
And honestly that is what bothers me more - any person that lets another person take something from them needs to look at themselves (and no I am not talking about rape - I am not blame any victims if that is where your head went, but rather as adult's we should feel free and assured to hold our ground on who we see ourselves as and if we are prepared to throw all that out the window for someone that is when we need to start looking at ourselves and our reasons for selling who we are so very, very short). I am not out to take any man's manhood, I'm not interested in emasculating anyone or making anyone feel small - but my question are they interested in claiming who they are - soft, caring stay at home man or aggressive take no prisoner man - you know what they can both be self possessed men that I could love, any woman for that matter could love.
So that's where we are at and I'm *thisclose* to messaging each of these men and asking what they actually want and if they lost their brain up someone's behind. I realize that's not a classy thing to say and I wouldn't actually say that, who knows I might just GIF my feelings:
Yep that about sums it up. And on that note *chin up* and onward
