A Gift from My Boss

A Love of Mine

I have a huge gaping hole in my heart of B&W photography - Vivian Maier's amazing work and her incredibly unique and sad story will definitely be finding their way into that hole. 

Top to Bottom: I love those quiet-discrete moments, the fashion! the faces!, The little kitten - did you see it? And quiz time this is the inside of a famous building - do you know what it is?

Must Be Married by 2012?

Well according to CW I need to do everything I can to ensure I'll be hitched in 2012 because that's the last good year to get married in for a while.  Apparently 2013 is bad luck, there is no love in or for 2014 and who really wants to be married in 2015, I don't know - more I don't know the future to say for sure who will or will not be.

Now you're likely laughing and shaking your head as we did today at lunch over our bowls of Vietnamese food - trying our hardest not to project noodles through our noses - while CW broke down her reasons why.  Now I will not fault her for having this, in her mind well thought out, because after all she has been desperate for a ring for almost a year now and if she's going to see one before 2018 she's got to bring her A game - hard, fast and relentless in her mind.

So you still think she's crazy, A game or not - well let me give you an example of this girl's mind bending skill.  After snorting on one of my noodles, she turned to me and put it this way:

If it's not next year (apparently she's found someone for me or has her eye on someone more to the point) then it HAS to be (her emphasis) 2014, because Lord have mercy I get married in 2013 - all the bad juju and such like (funny I thought it was the people getting married and not luck that determined success of a marriage...), then by her calculations it would be 2016 before I would have my first child and that my friends would make me 3_. She kind of scared me with that number, I will fully admit that. 

So CW managed to scare me - why on Earth I let her I have no idea.  I've been there done that in the whole planning a wedding business and I know that it is all a complete waste if you are not completely head over stilettos for the person. So be it 2013 or some other prime or socially unfortunate number, when that day comes it comes.

Photo: http://www.etsy.com/listing/53362958/wedding-gown-julietta

New Year = New Design?

Ms J was going to redesign things around here but she's more than a little swamped - so I'm going to be fiddling around with the Blogger approved aesthetics for a while - this way I save myself the hair pulling that comes with me trying to do my own coding.  If I did it every day it probably would be a snap, but alas it normally only happens once a year and as such it's just too much darn stress.

Trying to Find the Words

I do not have writer's block, I have a brain block.

I was trying to find a song that conveys all I am thinking and processing but I cannot - it isn't just in one song, it's a whole music library.  But we'll start here

Slowly Chipping Away at that 30 before 30

I accomplished 13 - shocking what you can do when faced with a reality of aging - and I will leave it at that - I don't think I need to tell you what I waxed, it just was not south, actually quite north.

Also I completed a wonderful book that I would recommend, Mennonite in a Little Black Dress - I will say that is was especially relevant for me.  That is all - sorry folks.

Thanks

A good friend of mine introduced me to Jeff Buckley - and while I will admit it will likely take some time for him to specifically grow on me - like Damien Rice did - his songs are amazing.  And as such I'm posting this cover of one of said friend's favorite songs.

So.... when I said I wanted to date

I should have clarified to the cosmos, that I meant I want to date someone new - no re-dating.  The sad thing is BB asked me out for coffee.  Yes I know he's a barista - but he wants to take me downtown to this place that makes amazing soy lattes.  He's sweet and he gives me free coffee. BUT he is so broken.  I cannot fix him.  I wouldn't and even if I was crazy enough, and that would be like CRAZY crazy to consider that - I don't think any healthy person could even help him.  He needs professional help.  He's got shit.  Hell I've gone through big time shit in my life, and if your shit scares me, it needs someone to help you out and not a girl you like.... so *sigh* I haven't given him an answer, he kind of blindsided me at 6:30 this morning when he asked.  I wish I could be his friend - steer him to some help, but I think that's like trying to save a drowning man - it's more likely to put you in danger than them.

Photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/charl22/168618212/sizes/m/in/photostream/

'Tis that time of year...

It is that time to look back and look forward.  But quite frankly I don't want to look back to the hell that was my body's dysfunction this year - or all issues that was 2010.  So, we are going to dig up, dust off and change up the 29 before 29 list... *drum roll*


30 before 30


1. Apply for Graduate school (write the General GRE and Subject GRE) - I will not dignify this with more than one spot. I start in September and I didn't have to take the GRE, yay me.


2. Dye hair blond and cut short - thinking pixie short but I hate growing it out from that length, it's the devil. Well as of Feb 12/10, my hair will look something like this, I have this picture on my cork board at the moment.


3. Make something with squash blossoms


4. See at least two VIFF films Close enough - Ms. J and I always see at least one film.


5. Run 5 marathons races since I started to get sick running hasn't been super high on the able to do list but this could be an option.  Well I've done a marathon and 3 half's - so I'm short one which I am booked to do in January - after that the plan is Vancouver Half, Portland and Philly full marathons and maybe a half in Seattle.  Staying close-ish to home this year.  SO on that note we are going to kick it back up to 5 marathons.


6. Get a professional massage, and no not that kind of massage...  Done and done and scheduled to be done again - Lucie is amazing.


7. Go to The Diamond, try a new signature drink - ie. not vodka based, and if it is gin based I will hand over my Blackberry for the night.  This year's anti-wedding anniversary party I promise.


8. For an equal drinking/class experience go here for my birthday Went for my anti-anniversary celebrations in 2010.


9. Plant a mini garden and try not to kill it basil died but the oregano and mint still survived - beyond that I don't have enough light.

10. Use the word bombastic and/or find someone bombastic and get their number  Close enough we
are FB "friends" and he was invited to our New Year's Game's Night.


11. The above will be done at either 7 or Shangra La's bar - which I've been dying to go to... alcohol is a theme here, oops Scratch that - visit three states I have not been to/in - landing in is acceptable as far as I am concerned because landing in is all I want to do in Minnesota.  This actually might be really hard since I've been to more than I think I want to count, such as: West Coast, South going East from California to Texas, Oklahoma, Florida, Georgia, Montana, Nevada, DC, Pennsylvania, New Jersey,  Delaware, Virginia and Maryland, New York, Minnesota and Illinois.

12. Dance somewhere - flash mob would be a safe place... I have a fear of rhythmic movement and rightfully so.


13. Have a body part waxed  *sigh* I am such a chicken, my roommate does her own, I don't think I can but we'll try


14. Get another tattoo (I want a really big one, though I will likely settle for something small again)


15. Make homemade marshmallows for Christmas gifts - you better act surprised y'all - the plan for 2011


16. Get a short story published...


17. Give a random stranger on the T a bouquet of flowers - this would work if I worked downtown more.


18. Learn to drive - my parental unit insists on this though I have negotiated an alternative option for this.


19. Learn to read French - I own the books, I guess I should be doing this.



20. Take a beginner tap dance or ice skating class - why did I pick such hard things - blerg - this is never going to happen...


21. Invest in a Jo Malone fragrance - which I might add are PRICEY and hard to come by on this side of the Atlantic


22. Take someone to NYC


23. Go to an NFL game - next year I am going to try my hardest when we're in Philly.


24. Send at a card every 2 months to a friend for encouragement or thanks - and I won't do all these at one time.


25. Start dating again - I know it sounds like a cop out but considering I haven't done that at all this year now that I think about it - I may have to be really deliberate with this.


26. Make a 5 year plan that has practical steps and does not involve a step that says "get married"


27. Help my dad run the Philly Half Marathon in 2011.


28. Not purchase another book until I have read 3 from my unread collection.


29. Have a Valentine's Day event - we tried but failed last year.


30. Bungee jump -  Ms. J refuses but there has to be someone willing to do with with me.


So there are one that need to be changed - any suggestions?

More music

I have noticed in recent conversations that my ability to communicate is limited in moments, moments where I want a song, poem or novel to do the speaking for me.  Confusion arises and the possible insight that could have been given seems to slip away in the attempt to re-communicate, maybe that is why there has been more music on here as of late - maybe I just have too much on my brain to sort it all out.

 

Soo it must be Christmas

I feel like I've been run over with a semi or a commuter train or something - you get the image. I have been awake since 6 and so tonight I got a grand total of 4 and some odd hours of sleep.  I wasn't at AB's party - time just got away from me, tis the season.

Hopefully I will be able to get a nap in today - I really will need a nap.  There is lots I need - I needed that massage I had to reschedule yesterday.  I need to not be sitting in front of my laptop while all my laundry is in piles or going through the machine.   Oh well I feel like there is something I should be saying but I cannot form into words -  thoughts about how complicated men are (AB and BB) about how complicated life is, and the joys of this season....

I have to say this is one of my favorite holiday songs (yes it is a cover and it might be perfect - but that is what I love about the song the message isn't lost) - the original song is here :



And now the requesite Florence + the Machine Song:

Property!

You're all mine, mine, MINE, ALL MINE... CEF was like this - Ms. J and well anyone can testify to his need to be in constant contact with me.  We would talk before I went to work, we would talk the entire 1hr commute home, during dinner and then MSN until I was about to pass out.  If he couldn't do that he'd be texting and calling every minute in there that he could - and yes there were many times I would turn off my phone - never a good option.  I'm busy was never an acceptable solution.  You think I'm joking, oy vay, seriously ask Ms. J.  Before CEF I never believed that I was beholden to anyone's time, and after all the fighting to unstick him from my life - I believe that philosophy even stronger.  If you cannot survive without talking to me, without knowing where I am - that is your problem, not mine.

CW says I should be more jealous - that it says I care - CW also says a lot of interesting things*.  Really?  Does wanting to know where someone is, what they are doing and who they are with, all or even a large portion of the time caring?

*Such things:
1.Sharing is NOT caring - which is normally in reference to her friends semi-swinger lifestyles
2. Be a kitten now and a lion when you get married - that is actually her mom's wisdom, apparently everyone's mother hands down weird advice - regardless of their culture.

Photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/richgaccione/2626955916/

More Music

I've been dwelling on the topics of long distances, jealousy, growing up and the explosion of marriage around these parts. 

Edit - I had a long blog post about CEF - but since I'm over him and heading for a long bath I'm not going to leave it up - I do not need to be projecting more negativity.

As to the video it was done apparently with a real light bright - check it out on YouTube for the full effect

Music Interlude

I Must Confess

In light of Hansen's comment (reading) and a recent blog of Victoria's, I have noticed my ghetto booty is disappearing with all my running.  Which in theory I should be thrilled with because despite my Russian heritage I have always had more back than I would appreciate - but I guess I should say had back.  Hansen was distressed the last time it happened and I am sure if she wasn't a 100 or so miles away she would be distressed now... I like running for all the positives it gives me but I must confess - I still want to be able to sing along to this song and know it applies to me.



Y'all can thank Yummy Mommy for making this our theme song...