Awesomeness

I recently gave in to Songza much to my roommate's despair - I love the 90's music. Quite practically the 90's blew for the most part - teenage awkwardness and family drama, BUT the music has happy memories for me. That is one gift my PU's gave me, an intense love for music, especially for the purposes of remembering happy memories. For example I could tell my roommate the time and significance of each song that came on the 90's School Dance mix. But I was able to top that with the Boy Band mix.

Now I have a confession to make, I am still at my heart, a 15 year old BSB fan girl, and I might have all their music videos memorized to the degree that I could even at my age repeat the dance steps and we all know I do not dance. Oh the memories. BSB's second album tour was the first concert I went to alone and it was at the height of a very prolonged crush on an older boy. Oh the stories I could tell. Those boys, all the boy bands represented what I wanted - someone to acknowledge I was alive and maybe even more so that I wasn't as ugly as I felt. I wanted a way in that moment to feel all that they were expressing. Thankfully now the angst is gone and I can just enjoy the cheesey-ness of it all and remind that inner 15 year old fan girl that she was and still is awesome with or without the NSYNC declarations.

But on that note I needed to share this song, which was one of the first and last slow dance songs I have danced to - my teens and even adulthood were spent in no dancing zones, so oddly this song holds a lot of memories. I could even tell you which boy it probably was too...

Changes

The new roommate is moving in today or tomorrow... and I am meh - it's the weather. I blame it on the weather, I just want to get a few movies lined up and stay in bed and get that weekend in bed coating on my skin and hair... It's too cold to run, it's just too cold to be out of bed, it's gray. I need the sun to return and with it my desire to do anything.

I have the winter blues, the I cannot run blues and all sorts of other blues. Good times. So on that note something to return the smile to my face and maybe yours:



And yes it is who you think they are - no throwing stones at me, just listen to the song - close your eyes if you need to.

Song is thanks to this awesome blog

Soundtrack at the Moment

I love music.  I may not love all the same music as X and vice versa - but I think it is fair to say we both consider the presence of  a musical soundtrack in our lives.

The songs getting high rotation right in my brain right now:

Don't You Wanna Stay - Why? I have to confess love the sound of both their voices, and together, well honey - don't you wanna stay? I do.

Are You Going to Kiss Me or Not? - Song lyrics that sound better as song lyrics than as a conversation are always good.

Dance Me to the End of Love - it's the Civil Wars, enough said

What Do You Want? - Reminds me of AB, it is actually one of those songs that sounds better as lyrics than as a conversation - a conversation I should have when he decides to drop in next time regardless of whether he is sober or not - even though the song isn't completely relevant at this time.  If you're wondering who the lady is, it's Rachel Bradshaw.

Who Are You When I'm Not Looking? - Song makes me smile and also makes me self conscious as I've been pretty much living alone for the last year - I think I have some interesting habits - which is one of the many reasons I don't like living alone, I think it would fully develop L's penchant for stripping the minute she walked in the door.

Oddly I'm Exhausted

Our lazy weekend in PDX has wiped me out and is making Hamlet my enemy - making just about any activity my enemy so I'm about to crawl back into bed and try and forget today...

But since I'm here it's time for the hodge podge posting that happens in these moments.  Wheat is evil, dairy ain't amazing either - but what is amazing is Happy Hour - Ms. J and I discovered PDX has an amazing institution for cheap ass drinkers like myself - well that and you get awesome food with it at really good prices but that all will be on the other blog - travel on over there...

Well so what did we do in PDX other than try to stay dry - well I tried to read through articles and in the process found myself struggling to find a paper topic that I had initially thought was easy - it seems my topic is part of a never ending circular discussion in which no one seems to make any kind of literary movement laterally away from the center - so it's yes to this and no to that and maybe to those ideas - does not work for me - I need something that I can even with some folly argue...  So no progress there - another place of no progress is my book addiction or my AB one for that - damn boy has reappeared in my brain - though not like that - let's start with the books.   There are books on my floor now - lots of books.  I am actually kind of scared - I have yet to know a time in my life when I owned this large a stack of books I had not read.  There have been many times I have had 20+ research books in various stacks on my floor but not like this.

As for AB it appears that after watching the SATC marathon with Ms. J on Saturday, my Mr. Big was never really a bad cold like AB - it is the weakness of the pride - the Maginot line for my heart - there is huge gaping hole in the defense structure that I still can't seem to want to build defense for.  That there is there is the issue - I know he's the shits for me in every way - it's the desire for defense that isn't present. Right now I'm going to claim a possibly lethal combination of apathy and loneliness.  I don't much care for a relationship but I wouldn't mind if I could get a little itch scratched - not that kind of itch - you know a hug, a kiss those little things that put that pep in your step. 

Oh well Hamlet is calling my name from the bed - wonder what he can do for me today.

Ms. J claims I interlock my reading, writing and music choices and it is very true normally one leads to the other so today's post in part was encouraged by this song, which I will apologize is older and so therefore all youtube has is a poor incomplete copy:

BIG PLANS

I am hoping by emphasizing the title that it will:

a. Encourage me to embrace said plans
b. Provide justification when said plans make me feel lazy or overwhelming

Ms J is heading south this weekend, so I am on my own.  So what should S&P do while unsupervised?  None of those naughty things you might think, I would think of doing because I'm not thinking those things you are thinking I am thinking.  Oh no no no.  Actually I was considering a massage or a pedicure but those would only truly be wonderful if it wasn't so horridly cold here still.  Mother Nature has decided that because she was kindly cruel to us during a winter sporting event that can't be named for copyright reasons...winter should still be upon us... You might think I jest, but every day I look at my light winter coat and wonder if I should wear it or not, I usually don't and then spend the remainder of the day cursing my choice... Anyways we are no where near the disclosure of my plans...

1. Make ricotta cheese.  I don't know why I feel the compulsion to do so, but I do and oooooooo... brain wave I can make lemon ricotta muffins with it - now that really is a must do. (Check - Ricotta done and in fridge - PS So easy I don't think I will ever buy it from the store again, muffins done - they're okay - not like the WF ones which is a good and likely bad thing - the recipe needs work)


2. Update the food blog

3. Go for a run on Saturday morning and Sunday morning - ie. get out of the weekend funk business of staying in my pj's until the arrival of Ms. J or my PU compels me to bathe and change. (Saturday - done...)

4. READ.  Read, read, read - and maybe study too.  Now that I'm in this class I am grasping the necessity for me to get my studying self rolling again.  It is as most students know, like a train, the progress starts slow and once it warms up it's normally good, now it does get derailed but I'm going to do my best to avoid that... or WRITE - those MFA programs are starting up a siren song... but to apply I need a polished piece - ie. one solid chapter in a book - eek. (SUCCESS! - Chipped away at Vocab, Lit and Verbal - and started Catch 22 - sorry Ms. J I think I might have accomplished more that I have studying with you... or maybe I just feel better - the sun helps)

So there lovely folks are my plans.  We shall see, we shall see.

So musical selection - oddly enough I love to write to a beat and so this is one of those songs that I can really get mentally spewing to:

A Little Music for a Rainy Friday Afternoon

Yay, My Taboo Love of PCD has been Redeemed...