Marriage

BI is engaged.  The boy who said he would never get married found someone he wanted to get hitched to.  I could be sad - that was one of the reasons we never dated - but really it was only one of the small reasons it didn't work out for us.  In the end I am actually thrilled for them and their family.

Why?

Because it reminds me that men when they find that person are happy to commit.  When they aren't just bidding their time or using you to fill a void.  CW has this problem with her man who keeps saying he'll do it when the time is right for him.  See the thing is - it seems like the time is never right and honestly it might never be.  She might wait and wait and wait and he'll never be ready - because he's a man-child like AB or because she's not the one to make him realize that life without her is not a life fully lived.

In the sea of commitment phobes and man-children BI's action reminds me there will be someone who's willing to take risks to make sure I'm his.  I just have to develop some patience.

I was sooo smooth, you have no idea

So I came to the realization today that I might only be successful thus far because of alcohol, my sweet precious, because well I've been under the influence and same with the men whence these conversations happened, and then whence sober, the conversation seems to get well hindered. Same went for tonight, when I really should have toot sweet made a bee line for the Liquor store to avoid the shitastic conversation skills I demonstrated when BV called... oh it was my finest hour for sure - even better than the time I fell on my ass in a short skirt in grade 10, revealing my white knickers... So anyways CW and I hit the mall and beat it a little while too, I came to the realization I had no date, date date or pseudo date appropriate wear... so ya, who knew that that was a fashion subset I needed to consider. So 2pm tomorrow, I have to find my personality without the alcohol and remember that this whole show, this is all an unknown - like what to say, how much sarcasm is too much sarcasm and really is there such a thing, and when do dates turn into dating, or even for that matter when does a date = a date, and when do those amount to dates plural - like do the pseudo and regular dates get included in the date date equation...

To add, when do I have to choose - that is to say I'm totally upselling myself believing that that absolutely horrible moment is going to happen... yes horrible that would be, no? As well AR believes that I need to find me a theme song, so while Beyonce believes a Diva is a female version of a hustler, I believe that a diva I am not, and Fiddy's PIMP isn't quite right, I leave you with the oft played: