Growing Up and Moving Forward Sucks...FYI

I am aware I'm making a statement as obvious as the presence of saline in Pam Anderson's chest region.   Regardless - it sucks.

Case 1
My PU just finalized a loan to pay off my credit card - my PU who just got everything in the black went red for me - talk about guilt.  It's not a free loan - oh no, just he has no interest rate other than grandchild. Yes he directly asked me to provide him grandbabies - what about a son in law first? He's likely to be child like... I did consent to grandbabies - guess I need to get dating. Sigh. Strings attached to EVERYTHING.

Case 2
Asking for help though a sign of a maturity is also a sign that I am not as mature as I would like to be.  I don't have the confidence I wish I had or think I should have. Tonight I am meeting with my professor to discuss my proposal for my 15 page paper.  This all coming on the heels of what is still my permanent nausea about the last paper.  I know that in meeting with him I can be critiqued, become better and grow as a writer.  But who likes to be critiqued on something they are passionate about?  You can tell me my singing sucks - I am down with that because it doesn't happen in the presence of any mammals lest I burst their eardrums.  If you tell me my cooking is horrible I'm likely to impale you with a spatula or something similarly blunt.   Even worse talking literature with my professor is like talking to an uber hot dude who hits on you.  Your brain while trying to shove out the feeling a camera crew is going to jump out and yell "PUNK'D" or something like that, is also trying to be witty, calm, cool and brilliant.   In the end you end up looking like Heidi Montag, expressionless and vacant upstairs, and likely drooling in your Cosmo.

Case 3
As part of Case 1 I have to submit a budget and open all my spending to my PU. Boo I can deal with other people's finances just not my own, I would rather ignore that, thanks.  Guess not went you're getting bailed out of the shit hole that started 2 years ago by your ever patient PU.

Case 4
You accept that making a fool out of Mr. Bombastic in your class, just makes you more of bitch in the end, and you're not really down with that.  So Mr. Bombastic unless you seriously misstep consider yourself safe.

*Head Shake*

I have spent the day with no computer and no desire to read Trolius and Cressida which I need to make peace and love with for next Tuesday.  I confess I want feed my soul great literature and yes I know somewhere in these slowly reducing stacks of un-read books that I own such literature.  But I feel like we need a comic break around these parts and so, I will take you to one of the moments of my life where I feel like life is richest when view from a theatrical perspective.  (I will attempt to get this as close to reality - seriously, it's better that way anyways)

Scene: I and CW walking from the Sbucks in one of the local research buildings (aka Dr Young Man Candy Headquarters)

[Walk past construction site on narrow sidewalk]

CW: Why don't you date a construction worker?

S&P:  My dad made a comment about me marrying a plumber because they make good money.  But I want more than that, I don't want someone who's going to come home crack a beer, scratch his ass and think that is what life is, I'd rather be poor than be without art.

CW: I can see that

[turn corner]

S&P:  I don't do manly-men, I am not a manly-man girl

[cue from somewhere behind young apparently single (no ring) geek-chic man in suit to pass from behind - S&P and CW look at each other, LONG deliberate pause]

S&P:  No that doesn't work for me either [trying not to bend over laughing]

CW: Ya didn't think so...

I don't know where he came from or why he had to pass me at that moment, but I thought it was hilarious that I would blurt out loud enough for definitely him to hear that manly men don't do it for me.

So there you have it folks, publicly witnessed by more than I am sure wanted to, my declaration that while I would like whoever it is to have more construction prowess than me I am not looking for the next Mike Holmes.