Regroup

So now:
Ms J has her first real place.
It is April and the very real fact that September is fast approaching is sinking in.
I start my first class in almost a year in about a month - that's kind of scary - it's my first English class in 5 almost 6 years - oddly I feel TERRIFIED.

On those notes of moving forward we went out last night to celebrate jobs, homes and futures - drank a little too much, Ms. J ditched me, I forgot my umbrella on the T did I mention we drank too much? They turned the word lemon loaf into a euphemism that forever will change how I view that baked item (it was tweeted if you want some kind of context).  Let's just say for the sake of roaring laughter I will likely have it at my wedding...

So we are moving forward, forward, forward.  But to look back for a second - I wrote the quote below in the Christmas card of a dear girl I tutored in Chemistry for two years - moment of brilliance, just like my human electron cloud reenactments I did to help her conceptualize the atom. Let's just say nothing really worked all the well to get the point across but she got it eventually.


"Learn from your successes and embrace your failures- all while being gracious and patient with yourself - failure is not to be feared and success is not to be your shelter"

Honestly though it sounds narcissistic I am tempted to get that tattooed on my back - so I can show the world something of quality comes out of this brain.

Photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/moonlightbaker/291202052/

I wonder if you ever

Get used to this feeling? Or any of the feelings around relationships? And while yes I guess I'm referencing all those happy feelings, I am specifically in this moment talking about that old as ways of communicating feeling issue. Even back when Tweets were just a glimmer in some super computer's eye and those too were a glimmer in some silicon's eye - girls, ladies, women waited to be called, written, talked to or whatever mode of communication was the accepted norm and of course the easiest for the man involved. So me? I'm waiting for an email, I've ruled out a text or a phone call despite the fact that yes OM does have the ability to do so. It's going to be fast approaching 48 hrs, and yes while granted I guess I shouldn't care, I do. It's a feeling you don't get used to, the slow rejection. Maybe I'm really a girl because I like to talk it out, to know the hows and whys and sometimes that's not an option. In this case I want to know what the hell is going through his lovely bald head. Yes, No, Not Now, She's kind of odd (Yes I am, I remember an ex saying I am as complex as a 8 sided Rubik cube), OMG she's got a tattoo - I wonder where it is and what it is of (You'll see it in due time, most of the world has), I don't think there is chemistry (Humph! I'll show you chemistry just hand me the vodka), I can't believe I didn't kiss her on Saturday (I can't believe you didn't either for the record). I just wish honestly that I could get a shot to show me - you know on my terms - cook for him or do as I did with BIWHMBHWTMK (Boy I would have married but he wasn't the marrying kind), we spent an entire day doing what I wanted and in the end he chose the movie... I can tell you I know he wanted to kiss me that day, again he didn't either... damn it. Oh well he's got a girl and a little boy and as happy as a clam or something like that. Where were we, feelings - so no hopes high here.