Jet Lag

I am having a serious issue with this jet lag business. I had 3 cups of coffee this afternoon so I could haul my ass out of bed at 2pm. I did everything I could to get awake - shower, shave, full hair styling - which I might add is a pain in the ass - makeup, non-comfy clothes, and then I found myself reading Roy's new book and wanting to pick my eyes out slowly with the text from the page - I'd have to extract it first though.... I digress. But here I am awake. I am awake and slightly annoyed.

AB hasn't texted. I kind of figured, and yet I didn't. I didn't think we'd go 24 hours not texting just because, sure we have before under other reasons. To add to all this I guess I need to add another person to the list... *deep breath*

I have a confession. I have done online meeting - not online dating - because I have not "dated" any of the men I have met. I have however made friends - made long term friends with two men I found on a site devoted to people of the same religious/socio-cultural heritage. I met one of them, we had fun, but there wasn't sparks then. Now? Who knows I've done a lot of therapy and hell of a lot else in my life. While I would like to say I have changed, in many ways I don't believe that I've changed in ways to make me any more attractive to this person - in the sense of long term goals. I know he's ready to settle down more or less, and all that - anyways I'm not getting to the crux of things. We've been cheekily flirting I guess via FB and Twitter, he's funny, he's got his shit together, and as much as I wish I could tap AB on the shoulder and say see - I guess I could say see what - someone not far but not close to me, someone who I don't know if I would spark with all over again - I don't know. *deep breath* This is where I try and pry all that I've given to AB away from him since he isn't sure enough so that I know he doesn't really want it in the end - y'all know what I am getting at... and just move forward. Move on towards an expensive educational pursuit and whatever else life has in store.

So on that note we give him a name - More wilderness boy than this city girl can handle. I think that works

Feeling Lost in more ways than one...

Last night AB asked me over for our more or less weekly TV viewing together (Lost), which was fine in and of itself. The issue was I had a prior date with Ms. J to run myself into a legitimate runner, given that I rely on an irregular chauffeur I decided to suggest I change at AB's. So Ms. J and I logged my 7 miles as per necessary and chatted about H1N1 procedures, someone should seriously tape up for some kind of iPod show or something entitled "All the Things You Should Know but You're too Ignorant to Care" or something like that. At 8:30pm I found myself sweaty and in the unflattering lights of the train heading downtown, arriving at about 9, still sweaty-ish and really in need of a shower, which AB so graciously offered. I have to say showering in someones home is a odd thing, how long you're in there, the state of the bathroom etc, but in the end I didn't care. With wet hair and minimal makeup I took my standard spot next to AB on the couch, sandwiched between him and his roommate. Speaking of sandwich, did you know that running 7 miles on an empty stomach can make someone really hungry. AB whispered I was to tell him when I was hungry enough to make him whip something up - I was gifted with clam chowder (minus the milk), garlic toast (blessed mother I smelled something foul) and Caesar salad. It really is perfect, someone who can cook is better than a custom pair of Manolo's to this runner. After the garlic fest we continued watching Lost somewhere after the 3rd episode Roommate and Roommate's Boy left, and AB and I settled a little more comfortably on the couch, in the end cuddling despite his objection to the wet hair. Of course I could have just fallen asleep there propped under his arm, hand in hand. But alas my glass slipper once again started to turn at about 12 and I was off to visit my night chauffeur and the Ladies of Lucite that hang out by the bus stop...

I have to say it was annoying that AB doesn't seem too comfortable with me when Roommate is around, I'm not sure why, maybe it just complicates something that hasn't already been made complicated and then uncomplicated, this weekend will prove to be interesting in the direction of things.

Note: Watching Sawyer and Kate when you have an undefined relationship isn't really advisable, though it is a good way to hear your date's heart and breathing change... sorry AB, yogi's catch those things